New Dogs, Old Tricks

I don’t see many honey bees this year. I’ve read where domesticated
colonies are continuing to collapse from some mystery illness
researchers have yet to pinpoint... combination of things most likely.
I wonder if the sickness has invaded the wild colonies too. Maybe
though it is all simply a honey bee conspiracy and this so-called hive
collapse is just the natural order of things. Still, I do miss
watching the bees bumble from one flower to another and another. And I
wonder where I will get honey should all the bees disappear. I have a
sweet tooth for honey, don't'cha know.

I have flower gardens dotting my yard since they mean less mowing. I
am sitting in the midst of a garden while I write this missive. I see
lots of flys flitting about from flower to flower reminding me of
honey bees. It appears to me (the uneducated observer) that the flys
are doing the same things as honey bees have done in the past. Perhaps
they are evolving to fill the niche left void by the absent bees.

In the not too distant future some intrepid individual will
(doubtlessly) manipulate the fly genome to incorporate the honey
making mechanism and floney (fly vomit secretion we see specked on our
walls, windows and ceilings) will become a world renowned delicacy.
Instead of hauling large bee hives brimming with honey bees from field
to field like bee keepers used to do, floneyfly-keepers will haul from
field to field huge covered wagons full of stinking steamy slimy
bullshit teeming with hundreds of billions of floney maggots and
floney flys that will pollinate the farmers’ harvests.

Of course some of the floneyflys would escape into the wild and set up
fly keeping there. Hey. Maybe that’s what’s happening, even now…

On a different note... it appears I have developed a bit of a name as
a motorcycle mechanic who knows what he’s doing. There aren’t enough
hours in the day to fix all the bikes sitting in my shop at the
moment. And it is all word of mouth. I don’t do any advertising. It
seems that I have been egregored into the motorcycle riders’ sphere of
influence; I am the Giant; ku ku ka chu.

No longer do I have to ride a bike to tell what’s wrong with it. No
longer do I have to ask someone. All I have to do is look at it.
Listen to the tapping of the motor. Smell the exhaust. Caress the
manifolds. Especially a Harley. I don’t remember it happening but it
appears this new dog has learned some old tricks that make his
services valuable to others who haven’t the touch or the know how to
do what I do. Like the floneyflys I fill a niche that is otherwise
void. Stuff has got to be done. And someone (or something) has got to
do it.

I find myself rising at the unheard of hour of 4am to begin my day.
Anyone who knows me well would find that hard to believe as I have
always let it be known that 9 or 10am or even noon is a much more
decent hour to be getting up. But I have found something I enjoy doing
so getting up early to do it is a treat and not a hassle as it would
be if I had to get up. I like getting up. I like the world as it is at
4am… quiet and cool and full of potential. And, luckily, my customers
have (so far) failed to realize that I would fix their motorcycles for
nothing. Getting paid to do it allows me to pay my own bills so it
works out good for everyone involved. Keeps the world turning, so to
speak.

I see my old declawed tomcat Kovu has learned to jump the 6 foot
privacy fence around my backyard. He watched the other cats with claws
climbing over and sure enough, he followed suit. I myself would never
have a cat declawed. This particular cat showed up at my door some ten
years ago on one cold winter day so I let him in and he’s stayed on
ever since. I figured he must have belonged to one of the neighbors so
I ran an ad in the local paper but no one claimed him. He never goes
far so I don’t overly trouble myself with his fence climbing. I am
only surprised that it took him so long to figure out that he could do
it.

Big puffy gray and white clouds are moving across the sky obscuring a
bright warm sun. The day is warm for late April and breezy and the
potato plants are pushing through the soil and I have taken green
onions, radishes, and garlic from my garden already this spring. I am
taking a rare day off. I haven’t been feeling a 100% for the last
couple weeks... perhaps I need some time to chill. The sunshine feels
very fine on my skin as I sit here plucking at the keys and I find
myself with enough audacity to hope the clouds will blow off soon and
the neighbor will finish mowing his rather large yard. The noise is
quite detracting from an otherwise quiet and serene day.

May all of you have as fine a day…

Dan

On Sat, Apr 24, 2010 at 3:07 PM, John Carl <[email protected]> wrote:
> I'm in a bad mood and need to vent.  you guys can take it.  I've seen you.
>
> I'm in a bad mood because my little brother has gone off the rails
> completely.  It's always nasty when narcisstic dyads come undone, but his
> divorce is taking it to absurd heights and has pissed of his whole family
> with his weirdness.
>
> And I'm done with him.  A depressing thing, but happens often in the ole
> vale of tears, sob, effing sob.
>
> And then, what really makes me mad, is people mowing their lawns.
>
> I mean, here we have this amazing construction of biological miraculousness,
> converting sun to sugar, heat to cool, rays to roots, food for myriad life
> forms, and people come along with their machines, rendering it inorganic and
> useless, chaff to blow away in the wind, soil to disperse to the breeze.
>  Stupid behavior and yet they deem it moral and neighborly to keep their
> lawns under control.
>
> And don't get me started on Roundup.  The "organic" herbicide.  "It turns
> into Fertilizer!" I hear expressed with admiration.
>
> Meanwhile, it's starting to appear that the bees are dying from the
> chemicals we pour into our environment.
>
> oh well.
>
> At least we'll have nice lawns.
>
> around our friggin' graves.
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