While meditating on this blue sky sunny day, my
effort in concentration upon this moment entails the
serenity of these woods during this sitting. I hear
birds singing away, a woodpecker once struck wood, and
I first heard this bird fly by voicing before its'
touch of beak to wood. People are heard laughing,
children playing, a chainsaw went on momentarily, and
a few vehicles passed by. All of this stretched into
this blue sky where serenity was the main event, as
quiet blue sky and singing birds was the dominant
occurrence during this length of time.
During all of this I would find myself coming out
of my head, at times, and with further concentration
upon the present, as my effort, I noticed this 'coming
out of my head' event was filled with memories of work
and what has happened at work recently. Then I
noticed each of these memories/events involved pain,
anger, or fear by somebody during these events at
work. These memories knocked my current
meditation/view/experience unconscious as in hindsight
I noticed that during these memories I was totally
focused upon them, the memories, and then, as I came
out of these unconscious (not conscious of the
present) events (these memories), I would make an
effort to concentrate upon the present, again. These
memories knocked me unconscious of the present,
without my conscious effort. These memories of pain,
anger, and fear would divert my attention, without my
conscious effort, and afterwards, as I came back to
the present moment, I began to willfully wonder how is
it this present moment of peaceful, bird singing, blue
sky day could not keep my attention. How is pain,
anger, and fear so powerful as to take my attention
away from this present experience without my conscious
effort? I would go on to come up with a possible
solution to this question.
Each time I came back to the present moment, out
of the unconscious/memory, I willfully concentrated
back upon this present serene moment. I'm going to
work outside for most of the day to force this present
conscious blue sky day into my head, so, maybe while I
work this coming week these wonderful moments today of
joy and peace will bubble to the surface without my
conscious effort. As of now anger, pain, and fear are
knocking me unconscious, so, maybe with effort and
concentration I can turn the tide. Peaceful and
joyful memories will knock me unconscious more often
this week, and these will be what I experience more
without my effort. The solution here might be while
working in this serenity, this work, hands in dirt and
sweat on my brow will force this serenity deep enough
into my experience into my bones and muscles. This
might work, this is what bubbled as a solution, now
time to do it. This is a good goal for the day, I
believe.
lovely day,
SA
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
moq_discuss mailing list
Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc.
http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org
Archives:
http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/
http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/
