Alex Vincent wrote:
You might not be able to read it without the appropriate zope permissions, but I finally got it up for reviewers to chew on.What you need
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* How about a colon instead of a period at the end of the first sentence.
* first bullet: change to "about which you have a fair amount of knowledge"
* use em dash instead of double hyphen
* second bullet: change to "of whom to ask specific questions"
* second bullet: change final double hypens to a comma
* third bullet: tell why
* fourth bullet: change to "on which we are more relaxed"
* fifth bullet: link to templates
* sixth bullet: change ". Bug" to ", but"
* sixth bullet: change "Bugzilla's" to "Bugzilla is", Bugzilla is not used possessively
* make the first fragments in each list item strong (so document may be easily scanned)
Phase 1
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* Sometimes introductions are better written after the content is written.
Phase 2
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* change "The descriptive documentation tell" to "Descriptive documentation tells"
* etc. is latin, use <span lang="la"> or better yet <abbr lang="la" title="et cetera">
More to come later.
--
Brant Langer Gurganus
Default QA Contact, Europe: West
Mozilla Technology Evangelism
