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this was posted at techdirt and boingboing

http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2002/05/27/humming-clampdown.html

Humming is theft, record bosses claim

Teary-eyed CEOs lament the plight of impoverished musicians
by Mitchel Furman

In their continuing struggle to selflessly save the musicians of the world from 
penury, all of the leading record company executives have pledged to "stamp out 
free humming, wherever it may occur".

"For years people have gone about humming their favourite songs whenever it took 
their fancy. Normally this would be a source of pleasure. But this pleasure came 
at the expense of lots of hard work from the musicians who are clearly not getting 
any compensation for this," screamed an indignant Rilary Hosen of the Recording 
Industry Association of America.

To further prove that the RIAA's motivation is not selfish, she flourished statis-
tics which prove that artists only get about 2.3 per cent of all money that their 
work generates. "So they really need every penny they can get," sniffled Ms. Hosen 
through a cascade of tears.

[..]

The record companies did not, however, make it clear as to how exactly the "humming 
rights tax" would be collected. There have been suggestions that a levy similar to 
those on blank CDs and other media might be a model to follow. Every one who has a 
larynx (and thus has the ability to hum without paying) could be subject to a fixed 
yearly fee.

"I think it is up to the end users of larynxes to prove that they have substantial 
other non-copyright infringing uses than humming songs for free. Mute people and 
those with serious throat cancer would be excluded from this new levy," said a 
salivating Rilary.

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