This may not be relevant until the next heat wave......but
last week, three different people told me they regularly took their
kids to the Lake Harriet beaches--but only after 8 p.m.
Why after 8 p.m, you ask? Isn't that past prime beach time
and the heat of the day?
Because at 8 p.m. , the lifeguards leave. And when the
lifeguards are on duty, they enforce their insane list of rules which
include: no innertubes, no floatation devices of any kind, no tossing
a ball in the water (actually, it's worse than this--no balls of any
kind at all, tossed or untossed and ditto for frisbees), no
splashing, no horse-play, no use of snorkels, masks, fins, no
touching the buoys or ropes and on and on. All enforced in the name
of safety and making sure there's no liability of any kind.
But it's my understanding (and if I'm wrong, please let me
know) that state law already protects public parks from most
lawsuits. Because if it didn't, the lawyers would have already have
sued every park, playground and ball field out of existence by now.
So the Minneapolis beach rules appear to be designed to keep someone
from even THINKING about filing a lawsuit. We're talking
hyper-protective, hyper pro-active.
And it probably works because I'm not sure what anyone could
DO at a city beach any more. The diving boards and swimming rafts
were yanked years ago. According to the current rules, you can sit on
the beach, you can enter the water, you can swim (but without
goggles--those are often banned too for "safety" reasons). I suppose
this works for some adults and pre-school children. But the rest of
us are bored out of our minds.
So we live in the City of Lakes and drive to the Suburbs with
Pools--or to suburban beaches with less restrictive rules. One
neighbor told me how much she loves the Shady Oak Beach in Hopkins.
She lives two blocks from the Lake Harriet beach but she drives all
the way out to Hopkins because beach has a raft and her girls can
float around on a few inflatables.
I mean, this is nuts. I'll cede the issue of swimming rafts,
although I remember spending many happy hours jumping off public
rafts in my youth. Rafts are probably an attractive nuisance and it
costs money to put them out there. But why not just yank the
lifeguards? Or yank the guards at some of the beaches. For example,
we have two beaches at Lake Harriet, one at the north end, one at the
south end. Yank the funguards--I mean, lifeguards--from one of the
two beaches on Lake Harriet. Continue to mow the eurasian milfoil
and do beach maintenance. But instead of lifeguards, put up signs on
some beaches saying:
No Lifeguard on Duty.
Swim at your own risk.
Parents, watch your children.
I figure it could be win-win-win. Park Board would save
money. City residents would have a few beaches where we could
actually play in the water. And the fear-monger parents and safety
nuts would also have a few beaches that operate under the present
lock-down.
Anyone else have ideas or thoughts?
Lynnell Mickelsen
Ward 13, Linden Hills
Was a Certified Lifeguard long, long ago
Leans towards the "Texas Beach Rules" which are supposedly If
It's Okay With Your Mama, It's Okay With the Lifeguard.
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