This may not be relevant until the next heat wave......but 
last week, three different people told me they regularly took their 
kids to the Lake Harriet beaches--but only after 8 p.m.

        Why after 8 p.m, you ask? Isn't that past prime beach time 
and the heat of the day?

         Because at 8 p.m. , the lifeguards leave. And when the 
lifeguards are on duty, they enforce their insane list of rules which 
include: no innertubes, no floatation devices of any kind, no tossing 
a ball in the water (actually, it's worse than this--no balls of any 
kind at all, tossed or untossed and ditto for frisbees), no 
splashing, no horse-play, no use of snorkels, masks, fins, no 
touching the buoys or ropes and on and on.  All enforced in the name 
of safety and making sure there's no liability of any kind.

         But it's my understanding (and if I'm wrong, please let me 
know) that state law already protects public parks from most 
lawsuits. Because if it didn't, the lawyers would have already have 
sued every park, playground and ball field out of existence by now. 
So the Minneapolis beach rules appear to be designed to keep someone 
from even THINKING about filing a lawsuit. We're talking 
hyper-protective, hyper pro-active.

        And it probably works because I'm not sure what anyone could 
DO at a city beach any more. The diving boards and swimming rafts 
were yanked years ago. According to the current rules, you can sit on 
the beach, you can enter the water, you can swim (but without 
goggles--those are often banned too for "safety" reasons).  I suppose 
this works for some adults and pre-school children. But the rest of 
us are bored out of our minds.

        So we live in the City of Lakes and drive to the Suburbs with 
Pools--or to suburban beaches with less restrictive rules. One 
neighbor told me how much she loves the Shady Oak Beach in Hopkins. 
She lives two blocks from the Lake Harriet beach but she drives all 
the way out to Hopkins because beach has a raft and her girls can 
float around on a few inflatables.

        I mean, this is nuts. I'll cede the issue of swimming rafts, 
although I remember spending many happy hours jumping off public 
rafts in my youth. Rafts are probably an attractive nuisance and it 
costs money to put them out there. But why not just yank the 
lifeguards? Or yank the guards at some of the beaches. For example, 
we have two beaches at Lake Harriet, one at the north end, one at the 
south end. Yank the funguards--I mean, lifeguards--from one of the 
two beaches on Lake Harriet.  Continue to mow the eurasian milfoil 
and do beach maintenance. But instead of lifeguards, put up signs on 
some beaches saying:

        No Lifeguard on Duty.

         Swim at your own risk.

        Parents, watch your children.

        I figure it could be win-win-win. Park Board would save 
money. City residents would have a few beaches where we could 
actually play in the water. And the fear-monger parents and safety 
nuts would also have a few beaches that operate under the present 
lock-down.

        Anyone else have ideas or thoughts?

        Lynnell Mickelsen
        Ward 13, Linden Hills
        Was a Certified Lifeguard long, long ago
        Leans towards the "Texas Beach Rules" which are supposedly If 
It's Okay With Your Mama, It's Okay With the Lifeguard.



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