In the last few days we've heard the predictable responses to our city's financial crisis. The usual critics of all things government and especially if it involves unions have given the expected knee jerk responses. Seizing the opportunity, they called for draconian pay cuts and vaporization of the city departments they love to hate. Meanwhile, all over city offices folks are cringing and hoping this financial crisis thing will just go away.

Our financial crisis is not going to go away.

I and a few others have suggested some creative win-win solutions to the budgetary shortfalls, and pretty much been ignored. Lacking any new solutions, I suspect Minneapolis will follow the same script as East St.Louis, Cleveland, Detroit, Memphis, and every other dying city.

Act One is now over. Through the boom of the 1990s the city spent like drunken sailors. There wasn't a floozie of a development that they didn't patronize. Not all these $$$ were wasted though- they left us a huge concrete relic on Hennipen Avenue (hard to believe we paid over a million dollars to move that thing 2 blocks) and many similar monuments to financial imprudence throughout the city. Many of the players from this first act have been replaced. But we'll still be paying their pensions, and for their mistakes, for decades.

Act Two is just now beginning. In high drama that would do the classics proud we will see services cut while taxes continue to rise. As city workers pay is cut the brass will stay warm and cozy in their castle with the cookoo clock. The police chief will continue to tour the city in his Lincoln Navigator, ever ready to give a reassuring soundbite at every murder scene. Meanwhile, for sale signs spread like weeds as not just whites but anyone who can flees the city.

Act Three is a few years off, but if you want a preview just visit East St.Louis or any similar city on life support. City hall and it's environs will look pretty normal- all those foreclosures and forefetures will keep the courts busy. But take a walk about the city (pretty safe, criminals tend to leave an area with no economic activity).

The streets aren't really dirt- the unrepaired potholes and unswept remainder of the pavement just make it look that way. There are plenty of empty buildings, in fact they'll probably have to add an extra server just to list all the tax forfeit properties. Most are falling down and a hazard, but the city can't afford to demolish them. Most of the cities revenue will come from large corporations that couldn't easily move- railroads and such.

The police don't patrol much- the city can't afford the gas and wear on the rusty old cruisers. The snowplowing is kinda thin too- the main streets get plowed by the county, beyond that you'd better have four wheel drive. Unless you're lucky and have a council member on your street. With so many abandoned buildings and lots of kids with little other amusements there's lots of fires, but the response is fickle. Then again, when the water system is unreliable and the rusty pumper's tanks leak there isn't much the Fire Department can do anyway.

Amid this abandonment live a few hardy soles- mostly the very young and old who can't afford to leave. They pilfer electricity from the power company with jumper cables and the city can't afford to bill for water. Like Detroit, wetlands have appeared in low spots thanks to broken water mains that go unrepaired decades... It's a rough life and the casualties are many. Fortunately the county takes care of those expenses so the city hall denizens won't have to take a salary cut...

from increasingly abandoned Hawthorne,

Dyna Sluyter


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