I was summoned by our city attorney to appear in court at 1 PM today to face criminal charges for possession of peeling paint. Unfortunately I'm still 150 miles away from said court in Minneapolis, nursing a sick vehicle back from Detroit. I have thusly become a fugitive from justice, and bench warrants will be issued for me and all the other violators of Minneapolis's code of exterior decorating who couldn't make it to court today.

This means that every law enforcement officer is ordered by the court to bring me to justice. Once apprehended, a bench warrant requires that I be held without bail until court appearance. Given that our underfunded jail can't even afford to utilize all it's cells for real criminals, I consider it my civic duty to avoid apprehension as long as possible. I suppose I could wander down to the jail in the morning, turn myself in, and hopefully get dragged before the court the same day without tying up a cell. But even turning myself in by said manner would cost the city $187.50 in booking charges. In deference to our city's current fiscal crisis, I'll just have to stay on the run...

But look at the positive side- Minneapolis has given me another reason to get outa town!

on the run on Hiway 61,

Dyna Sluyter

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