On Sat, 9 Apr 2005, Michael Atherton wrote:

> there is fully functional technology to prevent secondhand smoke from
> affecting non-smokers and employees.

This is the Smoker's Body Condom. It's like a regular condom, only much
bigger, able to slip over the smoker's head, a big air bubble around the
head, cinched tight at the waist, with room for both arms inside. Once put
on and inflated, the smoker lights a cigarette; the smoke is totally
contained INSIDE the SBC - in fact after three or four puffs it's almost
impossible for outsiders to see the smoker. (Or for the insider to see the
outsiders, for that matter - a blessed time of personal privacy in the
gabbing blather).  This is a great gain in smoke recycling - one cigarette
in the SBC environment is equivalent to at least a pack smoked in the
old-fashioned "open air" fashion.

And far cheaper. An SBC, in bulk lots of over 100, is only about 54 cents,
far less than a pack. More economical of time too - after an SBC session,
the smoker usually has no desire for more for several hours, even in some
cases 24 hours or more. Think of the time available for other activities!

SBCs are also extremely entertaining. It is a hoot to watch the striking
of the lighter, the first in- and ex- hale, the billowing random patterns
(always new each time!) of smoke, till the filled SBC looks very like a
large frosted white light bulb.

It is required that the SBC be removed OUTSIDE in open air, at least 10
feet from any other person, and at least 20 feet from pregnant women or
children. When they come back into the bar (those who are able) they are a
real sight! Yellowed, grizzled, hair frozen with tobacco tar in punk-like
spikes, clothes with weakened fibres in odd new patterns, the dramatic
difference between the top and bottom half of the person. Then there is
the concentrated aroma, a breath of fetid air for all to savor!

I've got to hand it to the SBC industry, and the pioneering smokers,
forging the brave new world of Body Condom smoking!


--David Shove
Roseville

Better things for better living thru fully functional technology
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