In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate
"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"Praise be to Allaah, we seek
His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our
own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led
astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness
that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave
and Messenger.
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu
The Second Major Sin in Islam
Being Undutiful to Parents
As Muslims it is our duty to keep ourselves away from all sins; minor and
major. This is based on the fact that the first priority for Muslims is to gain
the pleasure of Allah the Almighty by doing what He likes and avoiding what He
dislikes, irrespective of the gravity or the simplicity of the sin.
The first commandment in Islam as revealed to all the prophets is to worship
Allah the Almighty and immediately after this comes the duty of being dutiful
to parents
{Thy Lord has decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show)
kindness to parents.} (Al-Israa 17: 23).
Thus, Islam urges every Muslim to be dutiful to his parents, extending to them
the kindest treatment possible.
Failing to treat parents kindly makes the person guilty of disobedience to
parents as well as to Allah the Almighty.
Doing so may deprive him of the chance of being admitted to Paradise.
Therefore, it goes without saying that disobedience to parents or mistreating
them is the second major sin after Shirk (associating others beings with Allah).
The Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) was asked about the greatest sins.
He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah; to kill a soul which Allah
has forbidden to kill; and to be undutiful or unkind to one's parents…"(Bukhari)
In another tradition, the Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) said, “The
person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise.” (Al-Bukhari)
He also said, “The pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of ones parents and the
wrath of Allah is in the wrath of one’s parents.” (Ibn Hibban)
Respecting and obeying parents is a way of showing gratitude to them for
bringing him into this world. Therefore, a child has to show gratitude towards
his parents for rearing him and taking care of him when he was young. Allah the
Almighty Says,
{And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents. His mother beareth him
in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Give thanks unto Me
and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying.} (Luqman 21:14)
When a person gives his parents due regard, his own children will do the same
to him.
Allah the Almighty says,
{Is there any reward for good other than good?} (Ar-Rahman 55:60)
Kindness to Elderly Parents
For a Muslim, being kind to parents is much more than remembering them on their
birthdays or Mothers or Fathers Day.
Being kind to them means:
* listening respectfully to their opinion,
* obeying them in everything that is not disobedience to Allah the
Almighty,
* trying to humble oneself before them, and
* giving them gifts, and so on.
For an adult child it means to make sure they have the necessities of life and
whatever more you can afford; to keep them under your roof when they are
elderly without any feeling of grudge; to never speak unkindly to them or
physically abuse them.
{Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to
parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to
them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor.
And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord!
bestow on them Your Mercy as they cherished me in childhood.’} (Al-Israa
17:23-24).
In the West, most children can not wait to reach the legal age and move out of
their parents house. Parents are seen as a hindrance to their freedom. Aged
parents are seen as a burden that should be placed onto the shoulders of a
nursing home.
Nursing homes are almost unheard of in Muslim countries. In an Islamic society,
parents are respected for their wisdom and experience. Adult children might
move out in search of work, but they still turn to their parents for advice and
visit or communicate with them as much as possible.
It is a Muslims honored duty to lovingly care for his or her parents in their
old age. Parents sacrifice so much for their children when they are small; so a
Muslim is happy to return that sacrifice when his or her parents can no longer
care for themselves.
It is not a burden but a means of attaining a great reward in Paradise.
In many Muslim societies, the extended family lives together. As parents become
grandparents, they may help to look after or educate young children. Also, even
when they are no longer productive, they continue to be loved and respected for
their humanity, as well as for their wisdom and experience.
Dutifulness to Deceased Parents
A Muslims duties to his or her parents do not end when they die; rather, the
responsibility continues as long as he lives, for one thing that benefits the
dead is the prayers of their righteous children.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, "When a
son of Adam passes away, he is cut off from his deeds except for three things:
a current or perpetual charity, good knowledge that benefits someone, and a
good child who makes duaa (supplication) for him."
A man approached the Prophet, asking, "Is there anything I must do in terms of
kindness towards my parents after their death?" The Prophet replied, "Yes,
there are four things for you to do: Praying and asking forgiveness of Allah on
their behalf, fulfilling their promises, respecting their friends, and
fostering their ties of kinship…" (Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
Moreover, it is highly recommended for us to visit the graves of our parents.
Doing so serves as an excellent reminder for us besides prompting us to
remember and pray for them.
Obligations Toward Non-Muslim Parents
There is a natural bond between parents and their children which should be
respected even if the parents are non Muslims. Muslims are required to keep the
ties of kinship and to avoid contention and bad feelings that may result in
severing ties.
A balance must be struck so that new Muslims can maintain their identity and
principles while at the same time show compassion, kindness, and good treatment
to non-Muslim parents who may at times be critical, negative, or even abusive.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was always humble. It is very
important that Muslims do not feel superior to others. We do not know if Allah
the Almighty will accept our deeds. We never know who He will guide to Islam.
Always be polite and cheerful, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him) was always cheerful and smiled pleasantly to everyone.
Anyone who was with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) thought he
liked him the most.
We should try to be like that with our families.
We should always show mercy. Allah the Almighty says,
{And We have not sent you but as a mercy to the worlds.}
(Al-Anbiyaa 21:107);
{… had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from
around you} (Aal `Imran 3:159).
Showing mercy, even toward those who are harsh with you has a very positive
affect on the heart and soul and may turn that hard heart into a soft heart
that is filled with light.
http://www.islamonline.net/English/NewHijriYear/1429/topic_01/18.shtml
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