In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate
"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"
Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with
Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah
guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one
can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness
that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu
She wants to go out with her fiance to make sure about him so that there will
not be a disaster
Islam has prescribed asking the fathers permission when one wants to marry his
daughter, whether she is a virgin or has previously been married.
It is the girls right to have sufficient information about the person who
wants to marry her. This may be achieved by enquiring about him through various
channels, such as asking some of her relatives to ask his friends and those who
know him well about him, because they may know a lot about his good and bad
points which other people would not know about.
But it is not permissible for her under any circumstances to be alone with him
(khulwah) before marriage, or to take off her hijaab in front of him.
It is well known that in such meetings the man does not show his true nature,
but rather he is on his best behaviour and tries to make a good impression.
Even if she were to be alone with him or to go out with him, he will not show
her his true character. Many of those who go out with a fiance in this sinful
manner end up in tragedy and these sinful steps, whether they were taken in
private or in public, do not bring any benefits.
Often the fiance will use sweet words and play with the emotions of his
fiancee when he goes out with her, and he shows her his best side, but when she
makes enquiries about him and tries to find out more about him, she will
discover something entirely different.
So going out with him or being alone with him does not solve the problem. Even
if for the sake of argument we were to say that it does serve some purpose in
finding out about the man's character, the resulting sin and possibility of
leading to bad consequences is far greater than that (potential benefit).
This is why Islam forbids being alone with a strange (non-mahram) man – and the
fiance is still a stranger – or taking off one’s hijaab in front of him.
We should not forget another important matter, which is that after the
marriage ceremony (nikaah) and before the wedding night (when the marriage is
celebrated and consummated), the woman has ample opportunity to get to know the
man's character up close and to make sure about him, because now it is
permissible for her to be alone with him and to go out with him, so long as the
marriage contract has been concluded.
If she discovers something bad that she really cannot put up with, then she
can ask him for Khul (divorce). But usually the outcome is not so bad, so long
as one has made enquiries about the person and found out about him in a proper
fashion before the nikaah.
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