============================================================ Xerox places FREE Color Printers with businesses! If you are: U.S. based, 2+ employees, Using credit cards for purchases, Printing 1500+ pages per month, you could qualify for the Xerox FreeColorPrinters program. Apply today! http://click.topica.com/caaadqFb1ddNBb2HgmNa/Xerox ============================================================ ============================================================ You have been selected to get a 1000 Free AwardMiles from Topica. The process takes less than 30 seconds... Click here and join Milesource for your Free AwardMiles! http://click.topica.com/caaadsvb1ddNBb2HgmNf/Milesource ============================================================ Visit and show your support for the Grass Roots Oyate http://members.tripod.com/GrassRootsOyate Clemency for Leonard Peltier. Sign the Petition. http://petitiononline.com/Release/petition.html ==^================================================================ EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?b1ddNB.b2HgmN Or send an email To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] This email was sent to: [email protected] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================
============================================================ Get your FREE online credit report from ConsumerInfo.Com! ConsumerInfo.Com makes staying on top of your credit history fast and easy. Gain peace of mind and take control of the accuracy of your credit report today! Click Here! http://click.topica.com/caaadnsb1dbQYb1NHQ1a/CustomMade ============================================================ Everything above this line is put in by Topica and is NOT a sponsor of Aiken's Laughs. \\\\\\\\\\ Welcome to ~AIKEN DRUM'S~ * a laugh a day *////////// Welcome to all the new subscribers! This is a humor list that brings you 4 CLEAN jokes daily. If this was forwarded to you and you want to receive your own * a laugh a day * send an e-mail to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] I bet ya' didn't know The Manchurian Lotus in the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens, Washington, D.C., grew from seeds that had lain dormant in the bed of a lake in Manchuria for several thousand years. ------- ------ http://www.AikensLaughs.com ------- -------- Top speed of a chicken at full gallop: 9 mph. EPrescribe is a responsible and secure online service offering patients throughout the world quick access to a large selection of safe and effective prescription medications. No prior prescription is required, and we utilize only licensed and certified U.S. physicians and pharmacies. Note: we do not ship to P.O. Box addresses. <A href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/epd.html";>For Details</a> http://www.AikensLaughs.com/epd.html (ePrescribe is donating 25% of all their sales to Relief Effort through the American Red Cross.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1. On Your Mark, Get Set, Go! ----------------------------------- Ed and Bob were hiking through Yellowstone National Park. They rounded a curve and came face to face with a huge grizzly bear with cubs about a hundred yards away. The bear charged. Bob immediately sat down, pulled his tennis shoes out of his pack, and began putting them on. Ed said, " You're crazy! You can't outrun that bear!" Bob turns to Ed and says, "I don't need to outrun the bear. All I need to do is outrun *you*!" *** AMERICAN FLAGS *** 3�x5� Outdoor Flag $9.95. When you buy a remembrance flag, We will donate 10% of total Flag Sales in your name to the American Red Cross designated to the relief efforts in New York. Click Here: http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=8801&d=4212 <a href="http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=8801&d=4212";>Here</a> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "This country will define our times, not be defined by them. As long as the United States of America is determined and strong, this will not be an age of terror; this will be an age of liberty, here and across the world." -- - President George W. Bush Address to a Joint Session of Congress and the American People Sept 20, 2001 2. Who's Face Turned RED ? ---------------------------------- Cassie, being the "Great" Grandmother and conniseior she is, was taking her family to dinner, warned her small Grandson not to take any of the free candies by the cash register. While paying the bill, she noticed a small hand slowly slide toward the bowl of candies. After giving it a hard slap, she turned to find it was the hand of a petite, elderly lady. Cartoons O' The Day ---------------------- Untie! http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny656.html <a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny656.html";>Here!</a> Bow Wow http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny657.html <a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny657.html";>Here!</a> Which way is down?? <a href="http://ugrin.com/?144-547";>Illusion</a> http://ugrin.com/?144-547 Self deception... <a href="http://ugrin.com/?144-548";>Rush</a> http://ugrin.com/?144-548 3. For The First Time ----------------------------------- At age 83, Granddad was admitted to the hospital for the first time. "What is this?" he asked as he held up the bell cord they had fastened to his pillow. "That's the bell, Granddad," I replied. He pulled it several times, then remarked, "I don't hear it ringing." "Oh, it doesn't ring," I explained. "It turns on a light in the hall for the nurse." "Well!" he replied indignantly, "if the nurse wants a light on in the hall, she can turn it on herself." Things that make you go Hmmm.... If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax? "Instructions For Life" Get all repair estimates in writing. Also, save ALL reciepts. Thanx! ~AIKEN DRUM~ *grin* It makes "them" wonder! Bonus Joke: "I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. ------- -------- ------- -------- ------- -------- Enter to win a $500 Shopping Spree and Save on All of Your Future Online Purchases! It's FREE. <a href="http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=8801&d=4171";>Here</a> ------- -------- ------- -------- ------- -------- Advertise in any of Aiken's Laughs Publications- Write For Details <A HREF="mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?Subject=ADS";>Click here</A> ------- -------- ------- -------- ------- -------- Tell a friend about * a laugh a day * <a href=" http://go.MailBits.com/Tell.asp?1106.1 ">Here!</a> ------- -------- ------- -------- ------- -------- Copyright 1997-2001 ~AIKEN DRUM'S~ * a laugh a day * All Rights reserved. Permission is granted for noncommercial distribution of * a laugh a day * jokes as long as this full copyright notice is included, including subscription information. ISSN: 1527-0114 Original Sources Noted When Known! ---Sponsor's Message------------------------------------ Do you want to show support for America? Then show support for American companies. Buy at least one share of stock to help the economy. Profits go to Red Cross. http://click.topica.com/caaadoyb1dbQYb1NHQ1f/oneshare -------------------------------------------------------- For MORE Great Entertainment Visit: http://www.AikensLaughs.com
