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http://www.suntimes.com/output/telander/cst-spt-rick151.html http://www.escribe.com/culture/native_news/m27488.html White-hot shirt is all the rage March 15, 2002 BY RICK TELANDER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST At last we have a logo that pleases me just fine. The Fightin' Whites. And as I proudly prepare to send my T-shirt money to the so-named men's intramural basketball team at the University of Northern Colorado, I just wonder why nobody came up with this brilliant celebration before. The name was created by IM hoops team members, who themselves are a mix of American Indians, Hispanics and--yes--plain, unadulterated white people. None of that quasi-white-man logo stuff, like Fighting Irish or Minutemen or Vikings or Boilermakers, for the Fightin' Whites. Nope, they're doing the real deal--making a proud salute to good old Caucasoid genetic information, to martinis after work, wood-paneled station wagons and skin that blisters in the noonday sun. I don't know if the Fightin' Whites are any good, but I know they took their name because the team members couldn't persuade a local high school to change its nickname from Reds and get rid of its American Indian caricature logo. So they did this tit-for-tat thing. But it backfired, sort of. The team T-shirt--which shows a generic 1950s-style, middle-aged white fellow and bears the motto "Every thang's gonna be all white!''--is hotter than hot. As Fightin' Whites team member Solomon Little Owl, himself an Indian, told USA Today: "The attention is overwhelming. It's gone beyond all of our intentions.'' That's because Solomon and his mates didn't count on the demand and interest from a quiet and unpredictable lot--white folks. Well, at least from this white man. Why, I'm guessing that with a little makeup and costume modification, I could look just like that logo guy! I'm not sure if he has a name, the way Chief Illiniwek and Chief Noc-a-Homa do. But may I suggest Bob? The point is, all of us have half-lost our minds because of our ceaseless pondering of the appropriateness or unfairness of team names such as the Redskins, Indians and, yes, Fighting Illini of our dear state school, the University of Illinois. To let you know how addled the the thinking has become, the Illinois board of trustees recently met and decided controversial dancing mascot Chief Illiniwek should--and this is how they put it--either stay or be retired. How's that for sitting on the skinny fence rail? Trustee Robert Vickrey, who's in favor of keeping the Chief, said, "Discussion has been ongoing for over two years, and I don't know what somebody's going to know tomorrow that they didn't know yesterday.'' Me, neither. A recent Sports Illustrated article about Indian nicknames seemed to show how schizophrenic our perceptions are regarding this mess. "Asked if they were offended by the name Redskins, 75 percent of Native American respondents in SI's poll said they were not ...'' the story said. And yet, almost all Indian leaders disagree with the rank and file and don't want Indian nicknames--especially offensive ones--in sports. SI noted that there is deep irony in the fact Washington is the blithe home to the NFL Redskins, and yet the "city is so racially sensitive that an aide to mayor Anthony Williams was forced to resign in 1999 for correctly using the nonracial term niggardly.'' For the record, that means stingy or miserly. Personally, with all that has happened to them in this country, I would think American Indians would be a little touchy about being used as mascots. Not so we white folks. I would be proud to wear the Fightin' Whites colors. (White, I guess.) Or give the Fightin' Whites arm chop (the motion of reaching into a back pocket for one's wallet?). Or do the chant ("Waiter! Excuse me, Waiter!''). Heck, there are some great white men who need to be saluted at sporting venues. Think of Woody Hayes and Bob Knight. Johnny Carson and Ward Cleaver. A personal favorite? Lord Jeffrey Amherst, a white man for whom the town of Amherst, Mass., was named in 1759 but whose main claim to fame was his heeded recommendation that smallpox-infected blankets be used to "extirpate'' the Indians. Oh, yes, while we're on that topic, did you know white people killed off the Indians at an astonishing rate with the help of diseases for which the Indians had no defense? There are just a couple million Indians in the United States now, but according to the March Atlantic Monthly, scientist Henry F. Dobyns calculated that before Columbus, "the Western Hemisphere held 90 to 112 million people. Another way of saying this is that in 1491, more people lived in the Americas than in Europe.'' So hail to the Fightin' Whites! The winners and still champ-eens! You go, hoopsters! And, man, I can't wait to see the halftime dance. ***** >From Robert Eurich: In his flippant column that heartily applauds the sarcastically named "Fightin' Whities" intramural basketball team, Sun-Times writer, Rick Telander, added the sick remarks found [above]. If this columnist were to publicly endorse Hitler or any other historical figure involved in genocide as their hero [he] would never find a respectable writing job again. I think this newspaper needs to get some feedback on this guy's attitude. http://www.suntimes.com/geninfo/email.html ***** My letter to the editor: Are you aware that Rick Telander came out in favor of genocide in his March 15 column? What will his next column be on: the good that Rwanda gave us? Whether the Holocaust really happened? Since the Sun-Times published this column--rather than, say, firing Telander summarily--we can only assume the newspaper supports genocide. Okay, but if I were you, I wouldn't expect a Pulitzer for this complete abandonment of journalistic integrity. Witty, high-minded, and honorable this isn't. Thanks for proving so well why Native people protest mascots. The reason: because mascots are symbolic of America's past and present racism. And because those who champion mascots are inevitably closet racists, full of conscious or unconscious hate. Incidentally, the Sports Illustrated poll is barely worth the paper it's printed on, from what I can tell. See http://www.escribe.com/culture/native_news/m26868.html for one analysis. Reporting on this poll's accuracy would be a better use of your pages than printing Telander's race-baiting. Rob Schmidt Publisher PEACE PARTY http://www.bluecorncomics.com ============================================================ The creator of this web-based guide earns six figures a year from his basement. 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