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Self Help Books Weekly Newsletter - Week of December 28-29, 2004
Publishers:  David and Michelle Riklan - http://www.selfgrowth.com

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In this issue:

-> Sponsor of the Week
-> What�s New?  Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � December 28-29, 2004
-> Self-Improvement Book Store
-> What Are People Reading?  AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help
-> Book Excerpt:  Life's Greatest Lessons: 20 Things That Matter � By Hal
Urban
-> Book Excerpt:  The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm
Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer � By Harvey Karp, M.D.
-> Book Review:  Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul: Your Personal,
Portable Support Group with Stories of Healing, Hope, Love and Resilience
� By Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Robert Ackerman, Ph.D., Theresa
Peluso, Gary Seidler, and Peter Vegso
-> How to subscribe and unsubscribe to this newsletter
-> How to recommend our newsletter to your friends


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** SPONSOR of the WEEK ** 
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** There is a Science of Getting Rich **
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Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � December 28-29, 2004
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1)      The Best Year of Your Life: Dream It, Plan It, Live It � By Debbie Ford
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060723947/selfimprovemeonlA/

2)      Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul: Your Personal, Portable Support
Group with Stories of Healing, Hope, Love and Resilience � By Jack
Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Robert Ackerman, Ph.D., Theresa Peluso, Gary
Seidler, and Peter Vegso
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0757302033/selfimprovemeonlA/

3)      Younger by the Day: 365 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body and Revitalize
Your Spirit � By Victoria Moran
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060730625/selfimprovemeonlA/


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*** AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help ***
---------------------------------------------------

1)      He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
� By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo  
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=068987474X/selfimprovemeon1A/

2)      The Best Year of Your Life: Dream It, Plan It, Live It � By Debbie Ford
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060723947/selfimprovemeonlA/

3)      The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness � By Stephen R. Covey
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0684846659/selfimprovemeonlA/

4)      Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons: How to Find Your Soul Mate �
By Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony.com, with Ken Abraham
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0446576859/selfimprovemeonlA/

5)      The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way � By
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1401902154/selfimprovemeonlA/


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*** BOOK EXCERPT:  Life's Greatest Lessons: 20 Things That Matter � By Hal
Urban ***
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Success and Money 

We can't seem to make up our minds whether money is good or bad. When
someone is described as successful, it usually means he or she is wealthy.
So it must be good. But they say money can't buy happiness. So it must be
bad. Wealthy people contribute billions of dollars each year to worthy
causes. So, it's good. But haven't we heard that money is the root of all
evil? Now it's bad again. People who aren't rich criticize those who are,
but would love to be rich themselves. So, which is it, good or bad?

It's neither. But because we live in a society which so often equates
money with success, it needs to be examined. Some of the myths about it
need to be clarified, and it needs to be placed in a proper perspective.
There are two points I'd like to make about money:

1. Money is not bad 

Does it really say in the Bible that money is the root of all evil? No. It
says the love of money is the root of all evil. That's quite a difference.
There's nothing wrong with money. There's nothing wrong with wanting it,
and there's nothing wrong with having it, even in large amounts. The keys
are how we earn it and what we do with it. Honestly acquired and well
spent, money can be a resource for much good. Can it buy happiness?
Whoever said that it can't probably didn't have enough. Actually, it'll
buy a lot more happiness than poverty will. I think Pearl Bailey best
described it when she said, "Honey, I been poor, and I been rich. And let
me tell you, rich is better." It probably is better in most cases. There's
nothing illegal or immoral about being rich, but it isn't everything.

2. Money isn't all there is to being successful 

During the 1980s, we constantly read and heard about how many people were
becoming millionaires...and how many millionaires were becoming
billionaires. Some of the most celebrated among them went to prison. Ivan
Boesky, one of the financial wizards of the day, even went so far as to
say, "Greed is good." He said it a few months before being indicted by a
federal grand jury. He was willing to say in public what many were feeling
in private: success and wealth are synonymous.

Now we look back on the quest for wealth in the 1980s as being somewhat
mild. That was just a warm-up for the dot-com and stock-market meteors of
the 1990s. We learned on an almost daily basis who the new "instant
billionaires" were, and countless people were risking their health,
relationships, and resources to join the ranks. And all too often, ethics
and some of our most cherished values took a backseat to wealth and the
accompanying lifestyle.

The corporate scandals, still unfolding as I write -- at Enron, Arthur
Andersen, Tyco, Xerox, WorldCom, and others -- are perfect examples. At
Enron, for instance, the company and its executives were on top of the
world. But they were toppled because of the way they got there. Their
empire now lies in ruins. And because of what Newsweek magazine called
"executive avarice" and the "greedy, go-for-broke ethos" of the corporate
world, thousands of innocent employees and investors lost their jobs and
much of their life savings.

This is what happens when we lose perspective on money. Life gets
distorted. It wasn't just those who went to prison in the 1980s or went
bankrupt in the 1990s and the early 2000s who lost themselves in the
pursuit of the almighty dollar. Many of those who made large amounts of
money legally and managed to hold on to it were still coming up empty. The
Tom Peters Group conducted extensive interviews with thousands of business
executives during this period. Almost half of them said that despite years
spent striving to achieve their financial goals, their lives seemed "empty
and meaningless." Sixty-eight percent of the senior executives interviewed
said they had neglected their family lives to pursue professional goals.

These are people who had money, property, power, and status. Why weren't
they happy? Because having those things is not the same as being
successful. They'd lost sight of what was essential. They got addicted,
becoming slaves to big money and the things that go with it. In the
process, they damaged their own lives as well as the lives of others.
Success is more than making money. To overemphasize its importance is to
cheat ourselves out of the other things that make life so much more
interesting, meaningful, and rewarding.

The list price for this book is $13.00.  To purchase it for $9.75 at a 25%
discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=074323782X/selfimprovemeonlA/


---------------------------------------------------
*** BOOK EXCERPT:  The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm
Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer � By Harvey Karp, M.D. ***
---------------------------------------------------

The Missing Fourth Trimester-Many Babies Cry Because They're Born Three
Months Too Soon!

Did you ever see a baby horse or a baby cow? These newborn animals can
walk, even run, on their very first day of life. In fact, they must be
able to run-their survival depends upon it.

By comparison, our newborns are quite immature. They can't run, walk, or
even roll over. One British mum told me her new daughter seemed so unready
for the world she and her husband affectionately nicknamed her "The Little
Creature." They're not alone in seeing babies that way; the Spanish use
the word criatura, meaning creature, to describe babies.

In many ways your new baby is more a fetus than an infant, spending most
of her time sleeping and being fed. Had you delayed your delivery just
three more months, your baby would have been born with the ability to
smile, coo, and flirt. (Who wouldn't want that on their baby's first day
of life!) However, I've never been able to talk a woman into keeping her
infant inside for a fourth trimester . . . and for good reason. It's
already a tight squeeze getting a baby's head out after nine months of
pregnancy; by twelve months it would be impossible.

Why are our babies so immature at birth? The reason is simple. Unlike baby
horses whose survival depends on their big strong bodies, a human baby's
survival depends on big smart brains. In fact, our babies' brains are so
huge we have to "evict" fetuses from the womb well before they're fully
ready for the world to keep their heads from getting stuck in the birth
canal.

Newborns have some abilities that demonstrate their readiness to be in the
world, but these notwithstanding, for the first three months, our babies
are so immature they would really benefit if they could hop back inside
whenever they get overwhelmed. However, since we're not kangaroos, the
least we can do as loving, compassionate parents is to make our little
criaturas feel at home by surrounding them with the comforting sensations
they enjoyed twenty-four hours a day in the womb. However, in order to
give babies a fourth trimester, parents need to answer one important
question: What exactly was it like in there?

In your womb, your baby was packed tight into the fetal position enveloped
by the warm wall of the uterus and rocked and jiggled for much of the day.
She was also surrounded by a constant shushing sound a little louder than
a vacuum cleaner.

For thousands of years, parents have known that mimicking conditions in
the uterus comforts newborns. That's why almost every traditional
baby-calming technique around the world imitates the sensations of the
womb. From swaddling to swings to shushing, these methods return babies to
a cuddly, rhythmic, womblike world until they are ready to coo, smile, and
join the family. As helpful as this fourth-trimester experience is for
calm babies, it is essential for fussy ones.

Most parents assume that this imitation soothes their baby simply by
making her feel "back home." Actually, these experiences trigger a
profound neurological response never before recognized or reported-until
today. This ancient and very powerful baby reflex is the calming reflex.

The Calming Reflex: Nature's Brilliant Off-Switch for Your Baby's Crying

This automatic reset switch stills a baby's crying and is truly a baby's
(and parent's) best friend. Why did nature choose imitating the uterus as
the trigger for this blessed reflex? The reason is clear but unexpected:
As important as it was for our ancestors to be able to quiet their babies,
it was triply important for them to be able to quiet their fetuses!

Just imagine what it would feel like if your fetus threw a temper tantrum
inside you. Not only could pounding fists and kicking feet make you sore,
they could damage the fragile placenta or rip the umbilical cord, causing
a fatal hemorrhage. Perhaps even more deadly than the risk of accidental
injury was the chance that a squirming baby might get stuck in a bad
position in the uterus and be unable to slide out, thus killing herself
and her mother.

I'm convinced that the survival of our fetuses, and perhaps even the
survival of our species, depended on this ancient calming reflex. Over
millions of years, fetuses who became entranced by the sensations inside
the uterus didn't thrash about and thus were most likely to stay alive.
Our babies today are direct descendants of those "Zen" fetuses who were so
easily pacified by the womb.

The 5 "S's": Five Steps to Turn On Your Baby's Calming Reflex

How is a vacuum cleaner like a lullaby? How is a Volvo like a flannel
blanket? They all help switch on your baby's calming reflex by imitating
some quality of your womb.

Although our ancient ancestors intuitively understood how to turn off
their baby's crying and turn on their baby's calming, recognition of the
calming reflex itself remained completely overlooked until I identified it
during the mid-1990s while studying the characteristics of hundreds of
crying babies in my practice.

I was struck by the fact that many traditional baby-calming methods failed
to work unless they were done exactly right. I realized that, similar to a
doctor setting off a knee reflex with a precise whack of a little hammer,
the calming reflex could only be triggered by certain very specific
actions. When presented correctly, however, the sounds and feelings of the
womb had such a powerful effect that they could carry an infant from tears
to tranquility, sometimes even in mid-cry.

Parents and grandparents traditionally have used five different
characteristics of the womb to soothe their babies. I refer to these
time-honored "ingredients" of calm as the 5 "S's":

Swaddling - tight wrapping

Side/Stomach - lying a baby on her side or stomach

Shushing - loud white noise

Swinging - rhythmic, jiggly motion

Sucking - sucking on anything from your nipple or finger to a pacifier

These five methods are extremely effective but only when performed exactly
right. When done without the right technique and vigor, they do nothing.
(Detailed descriptions of how to perform each "S" are in chapters 8
through 12.)

The Cuddle Cure: Combining the 5 "S's" into a Perfect Recipe for Your
Baby's Bliss

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to be a terrific parent, but there
are some little tricks that can help you do your job better. Most
infant-care books list these calming tips, but that's as unhelpful as
listing the ingredients of a recipe without giving the instructions for
how to combine and cook them.

Each individual "S" may be effective for soothing a mildly fussy baby.
Your "easy" baby may only need to suck or to be danced around the room in
order to be calmed. However, doing all five together can switch on the
calming reflex so strongly that, for many babies, they become an
irresistibly soothing force for even the most frantic newborn. This
layering of one "S" on top of another is so successful at making unhappy
babies feel cozy and calm that one of my patients dubbed it "the Cuddle
Cure."

The list price for this book is $13.95.  To purchase it for $10.46 at a
25% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0553381466/selfimprovemeonlA/


---------------------------------------------------
*** BOOK REVIEW:  Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul: Your Personal,
Portable Support Group with Stories of Healing, Hope, Love and Resilience
� By Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Robert Ackerman, Ph.D., Theresa
Peluso, Gary Seidler, and Peter Vegso ***
---------------------------------------------------

Although most of the stories in this inspiring, well-organized
contribution to the bestselling series deal with drug and alcohol abuse,
other topics are discussed, such as diabetes, eating disorders, the trauma
of mourning, as well as spousal and parental abuse. The personal anecdotes
include the story of Perry, who had undergone four failed attempts at
rehab to overcome alcohol dependence. After a two-week bender he
speculated on "whether I would be better to my family alive or dead."
Deciding he wasn't ready to die, he became sober, addressed the causes of
his depression and eventually became a professional counselor. Another
contributor, Elizabeth, was obsessed with cutting herself from childhood
until she entered college. When she finally spoke with others about her
self-destructive behavior, Elizabeth found the assistance of religious
convictions, caring parents and a supportive fianc� and friends helped her
to stop cutting.

Also included are accounts from those who love and care for addicts, like
Ann. By attending meetings for families of alcoholics, she found the
strength to take care of herself first: sad but determined, she left her
husband when it became clear that he would not overcome his drinking
habit. Because it deals with recovery in its varied forms, this is one of
the most important, arguably the most important, of all the Chicken Soup
books.
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc.
All rights reserved.

The list price for this book is $12.95.  To purchase it for $10.36 at a
20% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0757302033/selfimprovemeonlA/


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