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You are subscribed to Humor-Exprezz because of a request from you or someone impersonating your email address. If you would rather NOT be subscribed, you can send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the email address you subscribed with. ______________________________________________ _____________ IN THE NEWS _____________ An Austrilian man wearing a mini-skirt was rescued by police on Sunday after he became wedged head-first in a clothing donation bin. Police said a startled member of the public had alerted them after seeing what they first thought was a woman trapped in the charity clothing bin late on Christmas Day. Two patrol officers were unable to dislodge the man and a rescue squad was called. The unidentified 35-year old man was eventually freed early on Sunday and told police he was donating clothes when he became stuck. "I guess that's his own prerogative why he was wearing a skirt, it's not really an offense" a police spokeswoman said. _______________________________________________ <========> What Are YOU Interested In? <========> * Funny Jokes * Bizarre News * Recipes * Diet Tips * Gardening * Soaps * Free Stuff * History *Pets * Beauty Tips * Contests/Games * Make Money * Insults Whatever YOU want we've got! All FREE delivered via email. Visit: http://af3.Gophercentral.com/welcome.fc?11377 <a href="http://af3.Gophercentral.com/welcome.fc?11377";> click</> _______________________________________________ TODAY'S TOONS: Bye! <a href=" http://www.borg.com/~rjgtoons/images/139.gif "> aol</a> Why? http://www.nutgal.100megsdns.com/cartoon/16313.jpg Jokeworm Pics <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/newcleanpics/ "> click</a> _______________________________________________ http://www.humor-exprezz.com _______________________________________________ *Laws of Parenting* 1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. 2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty. 3. Toys multiply to fill any space available. 4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it. 5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave. 6. If the shoe fits...it's expensive. 7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it. 8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet. 9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom. ______________________________________________ DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE? Top 10 vegetables in the U.S. * Potatoes * Iceberg Lettuce * Tomatoes * Onions * Carrots * Celery * Corn * Broccoli * Green Cabbage * Cucumbers _______________________________________________ A man walks into a restaurant and explains to the manager that he's from the mental hospital up the street. He says he would like to bring a group of the better-adjusted patients in for a meal, as part of their socialization process. The manager says that would be fine, he's always glad to support the local community. "Fine", says the visitor, "but one other thing. We don't allow the patients to have money, so they all carry bottle caps. They will offer these for payment, just take them and I'll settle with you afterwards". The manager agrees, and they set a date. On the appointed day, the patients come in, order, enjoy their meal, are extremely polite to the staff, and when they leave, thank the manager and give him large handfuls of bottle caps. The manager tells the man from the hospital how well everything went, and presents him the bill. The man from the hospital looks at the bill and says "That's a little more than I expected, do you have change for a manhole cover?" ________________________________________ More Names Of Actual Businesses... Jiffy Smog Jinks Funeral Home Jot 'em Down King Dollar Discount A-Go-Go Liquors King Dong Restaurant King Lear Motel Kiss My Glass Kit 'n' Kapoodle Kitty Frisk Kum N' Go Kuntry Kitchen Kwik Sak Let's Pet Puppies Life-The Ultimate Dry Cleaning Little Jake's Eat It An Beat It The Liquor Box Liquor, Guns and Ammo Liquor Lotto Pizza Video Check Cashing Little Taste Long Funeral Service Loaf n' Jug Lot O' Fun Mac's Grog & Groc Man-Jo's Gyros Man-Jo-Vins-Chicken Ribs MarJean Village Master bait and tackle May Pop Tire Shop Mel's House of Raymond Miskas Har-Hig Liquors Moldy Mike's Hawg Shop Mr. Gas Food Mart Mr. Hair Mr. Pizza King Mr. Pup: "A meal in a bun" Mr. Rib and Beef Pizza Mr. Wahoo's Eatery Mohammed's Imports and Respect for Life Fish House Murder Burger Museum of the Sea and Indian Nirvana Family Restaurant No Name Nothing Special Produce Co. No-Tel Motel Noel's Pee Pee Gas Not just Futons and Barstools The Nut Bush Ooo-La-Lodge _________________________________________ http://www.humor-exprezz.com _________________________________________ TODAY'S LINKS: Folk-You.com <a href=" http://www.fork-you.com/forkhow1.htm "> aol</a> Winter Sled Game http://www.wb-jackfrost.com/cmp/game.html Game Cabinet Rules http://www.centralconnector.com/GAMES/GameCab.html Winter Snack and Recipe Ideas: <a href=" http://familycrafts.about.com/od/wintersnacks/ " > aol</a> ___________________________________________ A doctor at a major hair-loss institute in England now says the best way to avoid going bald: Drink a lot of alcohol. They say drinking alcohol to excess increases hair growth. This could be true. When was the last time you saw a bald Kennedy? _________________________________________ Humor-Exprezz may contain links to sites on the Internet which are owned and operated by third parties. 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