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Take It Slow
Carl Honoré
Special from Bottom Line/Tomorrow
![U]() ntil a few years ago, I was a habitual clock-watcher. I couldn't get anywhere soon enough or do things quickly enough. I constantly complained about the lack of time yet spent hours watching TV because I was "too tired" to do anything else. Even putting my young son to bed seemed more time consuming than it should have been.
One day, I read about a collection of one-minute bedtime stories. With those, I thought excitedly, I could end bedtime sooner.
But wait -- what was I doing? My son deserved more, not less, of my time. I deserved more time with him, too.
Instead of buying the book, I wrote a book. My research uncovered individuals and organizations worldwide that reject a hurried existence. This far-reaching "Slow Movement" amazed me.
TECHNO-TAKEOVER
The past 15 years have seen an exponential increase in speed in our lives, due largely to advances in technology. I'm not in favor of rejecting these "24/7" products, but I believe in using them to our benefit, opening worlds of healthy living.
Example: Let a cell phone free you to leave home while expecting an important call. Or use it for outgoing calls only, not so that you are always "on call."
This is the difference between using the technology and letting the technology use you.
Seniors today may be the last generation to be immune to advanced electronics. I'm worried about people in their 20s and younger, for whom computers and such have always been a way of life.
To help our society, be a role model. Demonstrate the almost-lost art of being quiet -- the art of unplugging. Show young people that they can get more out of technology by using it less. For instance, during a grandchild's visit, limit the times of day when the computer will be available.
EAT "SLOW FOOD" SLOWLY
The Slow Food movement (www.slowfood.com) was founded in Italy in 1986 "to protect the pleasures of the table from the homogenization of modern fast food and life." With members in more than 100 countries, Slow Food promotes the art of growing food ecologically -- and preparing it deliciously and healthfully -- while protecting traditional foods from extinction. This practice preserves a wider palette of flavors and guards
against everything tasting the same everywhere we go.
To embrace the Slow Food movement, shop at farmer's markets, cook meals from scratch, dine slowly with friends, grow vegetables organically, shun fast foods.
COMPLEMENTARY AND ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE
Frustrated by the limitations of Western medicine and busy doctors, legions of people are turning to complementary and alternative medicine in tandem with traditional care.
Even the medical establishment recommends meditation to reduce stress... slow forms of exercise, such as yoga and tai chi, to remain limber... acupuncture and massage for pain. Check your health insurance and Medicare for coverage.
Slow methods promote healing in ways traditional medicine can't.
My experience: A months-long nagging pain in my lower right leg failed to respond to physiotherapy, sports massage or medication, but was healed under the hands of a Reiki practitioner. She channels energy by holding her hands over the body, working in harmony with one's "internal doctor."
Sounds hokey, but my leg healed. Reiki is increasingly available in the US, including at some hospitals. Contact your local hospital or the International Association of Reiki Professionals (www.iarp.org, 603-881-8838) to find a practitioner in your area.
THE GREAT BLACK HOLE
Television is a false friend. We think it's relaxing, but it's depressing and eats up our precious time.
When you're alone, it's easy to watch TV all day. Hearing revelations of intimate secrets on confessional shows may seem like socializing -- but it's merely voyeurism with no lasting benefit.
Avoid the temptation to "channel surf." Instead, make time for genuinely relaxing old-time hobbies -- woodworking... quilting... playing an instrument, alone or in a group. Trend: Knitting is coming back into fashion among young people, which means there are more opportunities for group creativity and socializing. To learn or hook up with a knitting group, contact www.knitting.com.
DRIVE SLOWLY
I used to be a speed demon, even on local streets. While researching my book, I learned about a one-day "Speed Awareness" class offered as an alternative to paying a fine and taking "points" for speeding. Two years ago, I took the class. It changed me and my driving.
Key: Awareness. The faster you drive, the less you take in. Paying attention to what is going on around you -- other cars, pedestrians, changes in landscape -- makes you a safer driver.
For a pedestrian hit by a car going 20 miles per hour, the instructor explained, the chances of dying are 5%... at 30 mph, 45%... at 40 mph, 85%. Is it worth that risk to arrive 90 seconds earlier?
A journalist who took the class told me, "When you're a calmer driver, you're calmer with your family, your work, with everything."
MAKE LOVE SLOWLY
Slow sex is better sex. Ask any woman. After menopause, the time it takes a woman to become aroused increases. Retirement brings freedom in the morning and afternoon. What better time of life to take the time to really appreciate lovemaking?
Increasingly popular: Tantric sex, a spiritual discipline that treats the body as an instrument of prayer. Slow, mindful sexual union becomes a path to enlightenment, forging a spiritual union with your partner and with the universe. The man treats the woman as a goddess, gently arousing her without imposing his own pace.
In India, where the practice of Tantric sex was developed 5,000 years ago, it took years of training before individuals could use Tantric principles with a partner. You're lucky that you don't have to wait that long to get the basic idea. My wife and I attended a weekend Tantric sex workshop in London.
Recommended reading: The Art of Tantric Sex by Nitya Lacroix ... The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tantric Sex by Judy
Kuriansky, PhD... The Art of Everyday Ecstasy: The Seven Tantric Keys for Bringing Passion, Spirit and Joy into Every Part of Your Life by Margot
Anand.
In Italy, marketing consultant Alberto Vitale founded the Slow Sex movement, based on Slow Food, to rescue lovemaking from its "breakneck speed" in a "crazy world" (www.slowsex.org, currently in Italian only). He advocates extended foreplay... whispering to your partner ... looking into your partner's eyes. Nothing new, but it works.
Around the world, Vitale says, people have a growing desire to slow down. "In my opinion, the best place to start is in bed."
LIVE SLOWLY
To have more time and enjoy it more, you must do less. What can you drop? You have to reset your priorities, understanding that quality is more valuable than quantity.
The Slow philosophy can be summed up in one word -- balance. Be fast when it makes sense, slow when it doesn't. Sometimes you have to move quickly -- to get a piece of work in on time, to finish the preparations for a party, to pay a bill before the penalties kick in. But don't get stuck in fast-forward, where you're doing everything in deadline mode. It's pointless and often counterproductive to wolf down your food or skim a novel. Seek to live at what musicians call the tempo giusto -- the speed that naturally fits the music. Do each thing
at its proper pace.
Once you recognize the benefits of a slow lifestyle, you'll never look back.
First Printed: November 1, 2004
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