nnn I'm cleaning up in the bathroom and getting ready for bed. And I'm looking at a guidebook of London and the guard of London is from the 1930s or 40s and I'm reading about the Elgin marbles and the Elgin marbles, which were of course taken from Greece and that's a whole problem, a whole matter of diplomacy, there. Falling astray and I'm thinking wherever they are. I'll never see the oaks and marbles again. I'll never seee London again. And I'll never see some Maryland mall. Was that in London? Was that in Paris was that near the Pontiac? Where's that near houses of Parliament? And I don't know. I don't ever know again and I keep walking and walking in my mind and looking at the guide. Books and the doors already shot to me and there are wars going on and there are more wars coming and it's impossible. It's inconceivable. I'll live to the end of any of them. And I don't know what will happen to this world. I don't know what will happen to my friends. I don't know what will happen to Azure. To anyone around me, I don't know what will happen to distances. What will happen to spaces? I don't know what will happen to huge volumes of empty space and clouds and future eclipses. Nothing, everything is just nothing. Everything is folding into nothing. Everything is collapsing into nothing. And I'm just basically surrounded with my arms around my body. Squeezing harder and harder trying to get my life to return to me. Trying to get my limbs to return to me. My breath to return to me. My mind to return to me trying to get the chance to walk through Kingston Pennsylvania through Philadelphia through Rome. Trying to get to walk through. Los Angeles to walk throughh San Francisco. Trying to get to walk through Ohio to stop with Azure at those places across country that we went to so many, many times and the vistas. And the city's coming up in the night from a distance like stars in a distance that takes that takes you an hour to approach because they are so far away, and the road is so distant and straight and so flat in the sky is so bright. At night with stars and with a moon illuminating everything. And you can just about hear the Coyote on the side of the road and you're walking and walking to Kingston Pennsylvania Down to the fossil beds with a Pennsylvania and era carbon differs firms, the tree ferns are piled up on top of each other and so many Dead dead Trees there. And dead trees upon dead trees. Then phones and tree firms and what look like palms. Butdarn't and I look at myself and gonna see the sands of time running out at high-speed, as if I could swallow them as if grit would grind my teeth down and keep me alive for one more day and every day with this disease I'm cowering. I just want. One more day and I want one more day. One more day if I can't continue now. I can't continue this anymore. I can't continue this anymore. I'm stopping now. I'm going to stop. I'm slowing stop. I'm coming to an end. I'm slowing up and slowing up and stopping. I'm crawling. It's just stopping now. Just stopping stopping now stopping. __ _______________________________________________ NetBehaviour mailing list NetBehaviour@lists.netbehaviour.org https://lists.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour