uncertainty of betters

i don't blame myself for what happened is happening the mind
pooled against a backdrop of uncut logs still belonging to trees
against which did i already say this, is long covid crushing my
mindi would lean or lie whatever might suit the occasion from
which i can't escape COCOON this dis/easement it's to be damned
to be sure, everything falling into pieces, surmising, one way
or another there are no more than 10000 in the wild at this
inside, no grappling BURNED OUT with that to be sure point to be
certain, when does illness become a player calling the shots in
the poolhall, the stick stuck in my MANY DEATHS throats i'm sure
there's something else at work here -

in the nighttime midnight hours long pain forgettfullness oddly

then hit missing the side pocket altogether because there's no
side pocket, just wide cracks in the mind's ether either way
weighted -

so drop over useless, turn musing, said he already losing
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