(Three interrelated texts related to memory, billowing, inert) 1. Four Dead in O-hi-o Several bars of the 1970 song about the Kent State student massacre came on the radio; I began crying. First, there was the trauma of reliving the event, already at a distance when it happened; second, there was the energy and fulcrum of an entire era displayed; third, there was mourning for aging - May '68 is almost forty years ago; fourth, there's the imminence of all of this, as if it's happening now, here; sixth, there's the incontrovertible bar, obdurate time-gap which portends a masquerade of space; seventh, there's the realization that the bar is sublime if any- thing is, and in fact the sublime lies within the temporal, not the spatial, not with due or undue measurement; eighth, there's the integra- tion of time's granularity with temporal distance; ninth, there's the issue of internal time-consciousness and its presencing which is always a form of mourning imminence; tenth, there's the billowing of time which plays out psychologically in spatial dimensions; eleventh, it's as if one might say, Oh, if only I could reach out, I would touch Four Dead in O-hi-o, I would touch the song, the fury, the energy, the habitus, the communality, the immanence of the burgeoning eco-political, the momentary lapse in pessimism as against the most pessimistic of wars and bombs one might consider the flower at the end of a barrel of a gun; twelfth, it's the ringing of death itself or rather the horizon of death which lies in any temporal horizon whatsoever as worlds are always already irretriev- able; thirteenth, it's thinking through the playing out of these irre- trievable worlds within the organization and granularity of the billowing of the habitus, as if mourning consisted in watching the world of someone one loves withering away; fourteenth, it's the recognition that such withering is the foundation of the cosmos, Bell's theorem notwithstand- ing; fifteenth, one only has to look at one's own withering, our cat for example growing thinner by the way, her rounded and more robust form a memory reconstituted either through video or photography, or, more likely, through thinking through billowing, through the pleasure embedding all her gestures in an indefinite and infinite world of spring and summer, which was inescapably vectored towards this present and beyond, towards her death which we pray is not immediate, not soon; sixteenth, recognizing that billowing is a form of comfort, even among starvation, extinction, torture, a form of comfort within which the smallest things are absorbed and the temporal sublime appears as if in translation towards the glory of an inconceivable Absolute; seventeenth, coming to the realization that the comfort of the world is all the comfort there is, and the awkwardness and pain of the world, our awkwardness and pain, is all there is as well; eighteenth, it's as if Four Dead in O-hi-o never happened, it's as if that energy were stillborn, our memories playing tricks, an accumulation of subterfuges; nineteenth, yes we are living that impossible dream, impossi- ble because of the stretch entailed as if implication were the fundamental operation of the propositional logic; and twentieth, the gestural logics of the breakdown of distributive laws - it's as if they're holding out some sort of promise, but then the refrain of the song comes back, there are bodies lying there, equally stillborn, there is the image of the student looking up, towards the camera, someone dead and present, present in the way our own deaths are present even in the most fundamental acts of speaking, thinking, writing, this. 2. not now _ not now jennifer yes now julu ( j )r yes now julu yes now julu er yes now julu ot now jennifer yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer yes now julu _ */jenni/* ffw jennifer not now jennifer yes now julu f ( f )r yes now julu yes now julu yes now julu now jennifer yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer now julu _ */fer/* not now jennifer yes now julu ( w )r yes now julu yes now julu er yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer _ */you w/* not now jennifer yes now julu ( s )r yes now julu yes now julu er yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer _ */ill s/* not now jennifer yes now julu ( m )r yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer _ */uck m/* not now jennifer yes now julu ( b )r yes now julu yes now julu er yes now julu ot now jennifer yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer yes now julu _ */y b/* not now jennifer yes now julu ( t )r yes now julu es now julu s now julu nnifer yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer ulu jennifer yes now julu jennifer yes now ju _ */reasts until/* ffw jennifer not now jennifer yes now julu f ( y )r yes now julu yes now julu yes now julu now jennifer yes now julu yes now julu_not now jennifer now julu _ */you die/* 3. eyes billowing government, soundless next watching hysteric, yourself find lashed thing eyes, fall eyes her bleak wide berthing worried, seemed plays, ever gaze, gaze prims shuddered sea swollen, uncanny, stashed networks neural grace however hardness sallow, emptied, sodden tossed neatly clearly whims harboring you're memoire. histoire. face hollow cut inside world, fear ground unhallowed am death. close knew think never me. parted good. pretty been parts tackle desert. beyond desert dog dog. take welkin. living walking kings signs. sign omens, omen harbinger. strengthens defeat parasites memories glass plates wires. over speak consequence. run queens. queens will. don't. gouge life. ferocity gall bitterness rescue rest. laid ta'en spoken words yourself. it. shoot put maelstrom life, say. healthy. dead sometimes eyes. death yes give myself. kill myself furiously. woman. man wires, flesh, flesh. smell burn; wires garden cultivating see. think; wake fireflies where. everywhere running plates. photography's photography = y equations ( mov(i)es male sky. nighttime sightless light equation grid geometricized scattered usual constants b sqrt(tan(a-b*x^2), except obtained display. style specific given above, also below, collapses phallocentric, perhaps real. faced collapsing linear version soaked. well, potential, itself harden would otherwise scattering axis certain closely, examined stream continuing restoration. equations, bound inexhaustible conjures results turbulence loop, repetition artificial over-inflated spill whew, softness stars. fucking dynamo universe. barrier, boundary course lunge. incandescent gullet swallows production potential lost, thought once hole black information carries passes manifest themselves, en awak= sun. under galaxy, literally new survival, eternal irretrievable them, phenomena worlds human calling arches world. soft nay, information, this, possibility imagine oh, data-banking. gristle, throbs thoughts. innermost survey waits accumulated sumptuous forestall designed appurtenances fences designated equipment roughage carrying them structured, heavily protrusions indicated nothing, raiment set sparkings, firewalls literal depend doesn't intelligence. semblance surveyance argue state; exist thoughts, never, not, illimitable off corner, be. cosmos, worlds, description fecund accomplishes readily orderings softest reveal, continues things hidden knowledge, billowing memories, histories, objects, tial poten- membranes skeins, dies, real; thinking, constitutes recompense. return, incontrovertible disappear, finite, projection infinite appearance formlessness, forms settling-in importance, vital garnering corner. everything, anything, something, notion, talk sometime sovereignty times ... caress, illuminaries concept useful almost suturing corners 'peering' lifeworld 'smoothed' things, organizing receptacle, receiving, mind, phenomena, mental embraces real, 'depth' grips difficult extension, personal surrounding identifying particulate billowing, presencing comfort, seems forgotten classification plural. singular neither sublime. anecdote loses stratigraphy disappears. plateau, vector, train. mystical tion, revela- sublime easy, revealed particular language. contradictory intentional otherwise, seated buddhas towards differentiation. itself, war, dis-ease, urban asthmatic, some. contended sense 'sovereigns' states side. disappear. distinctions treaties. alliances peace, sovereignty, features peculiar possess did hear deaf, whatever. sovereign foreign dumb, beings, political considering crops, raise offence, defence faculties organs had sovereign. propositions each 13 placed g.b. separation considered he martin, war." vessels, equip processes operators jostle, confederation time, till remained other; collusion, spoken-for. ing speak- spoken-to, unless speaks jostle. membrane withdraws interiority, emic, etic; arise rights collocations, materiel. men, ment move- currencies, speech, goods, transmissions cloaks songs smile. lisa mona engender, breathe, swell, forth, billow nature, wayfarers, myth destinations, origins myth, forward putting look, sung? which, protocols, silence absolute see, you, nomadic. mapping mapped government. soundless operators, states, processes, _______________________________________________ NetBehaviour mailing list [email protected] http://www.netbehaviour.org/mailman/listinfo/netbehaviour
