So I'm looking in me e-mails, like, wondering if there's anyfink interesting
goin dahn at the minute, like, and I comes across this thing called "6 Online
Episodes in the Thames Gateway", and I thinks to meself "Swipe me pink, this
might be interesting", so I decided to give it an eyeball. So I goes and
follows the link, like.
Bleeding hell, what a dog's breakfast! I mean, remember them Rupert the Bear
comic-strips you used to get in the old days, with the picture-story on the
top, and then underneath every picture you've got this little lump of story in
really tiny print? Remember them? You never used to want to read the tiny
print, did you? You always just wanted to look at the pictures, didn't you?
Well, that's what this was like, only instead of a lump of tiny print
underneath each picture, it's got a bleeding sound-file underneath it instead.
Just the same effect, though: I never felt like playing the sound files, I just
felt like looking at the pictures.
Or that's how I would've felt if the bleeding pictures had been any bleeding
good, like, know what I mean? But they weren't. They'd got like these
pink-looking heads with brown-looking noses stuck on them, no proper bodies, no
proper backgrounds, no nothing. I said to myself, someone's having a laugh,
aren't they? Someone's knocked this up in about five minutes. I can't believe
it.
So then I did play the sound files after all, just to see if there was some
kind of, like, hidden secret to the piece - and would you Adam and Eve it, the
geezer who was telling the story sounded like he'd been left over out of a
particularly badly-written episode of EastEnders, with maybe some Arthur Daley
thrown in. I mean nobody seriously believes that anyone bleeding well talks
like that, do they? Leave it out. I nearly choked on me pie and mash. And the
story was a bit bleeding boring and all.
So then I played all the sound files at once, just for a laugh. That was the
best bit, really. Playing all the sound files at once. WAAHAAY!
- Edward
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