From The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906) [devil]:

  SUCCESS, n.  The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.  In
  literature, and particularly in poetry, the elements of success are
  exceedingly simple, and are admirably set forth in the following lines
  by the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape, entitled, for some mysterious
  reason, "John A. Joyce."

      The bard who would prosper must carry a book,
          Do his thinking in prose and wear
      A crimson cravat, a far-away look
          And a head of hexameter hair.
      Be thin in your thought and your body'll be fat;
      If you wear your hair long you needn't your hat.
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