“It’s amusing that our model of ourselves is that of an impenetrable machine we somehow need to decode and predict—then and only then can we make the right decisions in order to be happy. We set up miniature experiments and carefully monitor our responses and how others react to us to see if we should repeat or continue the experience. Frantically moving from one friend, lover, job, university, project, political cause, to the next, each briefly improving the situation and giving us the status and self-importance we need to get out of bed in the morning. Worrying about the global issues, reading the news religiously every day so we’re informed individuals and can ramble on for hours about the pains of people in the world we’ll never meet. Ignoring people we could share happiness with or—worse—learning methods of manipulation so we can influence those closest (proximal) to us, the satisfaction of a person molded feeding back into our personal status machine. Eye contact, use first name, soft tone, develop a rapport but not for too long lest honesty and humility creeps in. Helping and diplomacy rather than sharing and empathy.”
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