Mr. Cohen may be right for NY Times' dwindling readers. We are
a depressed lot, carefully coached to view the world with inward
mirroring glasses. Psychotherapists here, about two-twelve for every
Times depressant, remind by the hour at $150, of our misery. Our
therapy pets howl and mewl in chorus with our laments. Our servants
groan and moan at dwindling tips and rising costs of elite colleges
to which their coddled brats are indentured to learn finance, law and
predation at the feet of kindly forebears exploiting public office to
gobble and wobble with undeserved, completely legal, bountiful
backsheesh.

Most envied comedic New Yorker is not Preet Bahara, Jamie Dimon,
Stewart or Colbert, but Reverend Al Sharpton, our totemic inheritor of
Mandela, Ghandi, King, Cornel West, James Brown, for hustling
entertainment is our holiest religion, produced for wholesale global
consumers of despicable simulated horrors.

We love New York up-beat slogans, top of the mast, most fit to
print. We engorge op-eds, dog-and-cat-fighting columnists,
Pulitzer prizes locally baked by hated neighbors, all engines of
self-loathing for us narcissitic losers: insanely wealthy or poor-doored
and -terraced, vacuous public philosophers (not you nettimers),
idly contemptuous of Others annoyingly squatted in our very AirBnB
prejudicially opinionated, Uber-mensch paranoid, needy for psycho-torture
catching and pitching, we ingest and lambast New York Times and
The New Yorker for plagiarizing our worst imaginings by putting them
in the vocals, noise, splatterings, Times Square plasmas of our
star-squahing kids impatiently awaiting our demise to gain full
contol of our socialist-controlled housing in order to cash out
for Afghan delirium awaiting on Silk Road.

No clouds for us the kids yell streaking pansexually across
campuses of NY's top import and export, ever higher ed, aka
Marxian-Fruedian-Nietzschean-Chomskian desire to make it
into the wide-mawed listicles of NY famous anuses.


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