On Tue, 19 Nov 2002 23:49:04 +0200, you wrote: >Dear Tech Support: > >This year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that >the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of >space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the >product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other >programs and now launches during system initialisation, where it monitors >all other system activity. Applications such as Guys Night Out 10.3, >Baseball 5.0, Fishing 7.5, and Hockey 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system >whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while >attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back >to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. > >Please help!!!!!! >Thanks, >A Troubled User. > >REPLY: > >Dear Troubled User, > >This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a >primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, >thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 >is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!! >It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. >Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so >nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the >program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to >Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have >tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the >original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child >Support." > >I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I >suggest installing the background application Yes Dear to alleviate software >augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read >the entire section regarding 'General Partnership Faults' (GPFs). You must >assume joint responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, >regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs are cyclical. The >best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive >use of C:\YESDEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE >command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember the system >will run smoothly as long as you share the blame for all GPFs. > >Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife >1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook >It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be >very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system >to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to >improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I >recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen. > >WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short >Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause >irreversible damage to the operating system. > >Best of luck, >Tech Support > > > >
Wow. That was funny.
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