On Tue, 2003-01-21 at 11:02, Chuck Burns wrote: > On Mon, January 20 2003 5:50 pm, Stephen Kuhn wrote: > *snip* > > (And she's a soon-to-be linux user, ya reckon Chuck?) > She uses it all the time, at my house, I just havent yet convinced her to > forgoe her ill-begotten ways, and evil tendencencies.
Here's how I do it at home - the 10 easy steps to converting a Windows user into a Linux user: 1.) Give them a bare, blank, un-FDISK'ed drive, an 8mb ATI RagePro3D AGP card, a motherboard with onboard sound (preferably a CMI based chipset), a Logitech "Internet" keyboard, an off-the-shelf-no-name optical wheelmouse, a PCI based Rockwell HCF/HCS/HST 56k vdf modem without a name brand on the box, a boot CD for WindowsME, and a blessing. 2.) On day two, add an SB-Live! sound card and let them sort it out. 3.) On day four, since they can't get the drivers working properly, give them Win2k instead. 4.) On day four, give them Win98SE and a blessing after they've spent six hours trying to get Win2k working properly with anything. 5.) On day five, removed the modem and reinstall the modem. 6.) Let them look constantly over your should as you happily surf, do email, watch DVD's, play games, print reports and do work - all on a machine that hasn't been rebooted ONCE in the past two weeks. 7.) After they get on the net and have three registry problems within the first three hours of being on the net, and after they've watched the system performance drop 50% after installing an antivirus program, constantly elaborate on the "bug free" environment of linux. Send them klez for giggles and grins 8.) Since they've not been able to get all the drivers straight for all the equipment and system performance is horribly slow, recommend a complete reinstallation of Win98SE and keep the laughter to yourself. 9.) Since they've gotten near the madness level, give them XP to install. 10.) After XP bombs out doing either a straight install or an upgrade install, hand them your (put your distro name here) boot CD. -- Tue Jan 21 11:05:00 EST 2003 11:05am up 4 days, 20:48, 5 users, load average: 0.21, 0.16, 0.18 ------------------------------------------------------------------ | __ __ | kuhn media australia | | / ,, /| |'-. | http://kma.0catch.com | | .\__/ || | | |=================================| | _ / `._ \|_|_.-' | stephen kuhn | | | / \__.`=._) (_ | email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] | | |/ ._/ |"""""""""| | email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] | | |'. `\ | | | icq: 5483808 | | ;"""/ / | | | | | smk ) /_/| |.-------.| | mobile: 0410-728-389 | | ' `-`' " " | Berkeley, New South Wales, AU | ------------------------------------------------------------------ linux user:267497 * RH 8.0 * PC/Mac/Linux/Networking/Consulting ------------------------------------------------------------------ I'm sure that VMS is completely documented, I just haven't found the right manual yet. I've been working my way through the manuals in the document library and I'm half way through the second cabinet, (3 shelves to go), so I should find what I'm looking for by mid May. I hope I can remember what it was by the time I find it. I had this idea for a new horror film, "VMS Manuals from Hell" or maybe "The Paper Chase : IBM vs. DEC". It's based on Hitchcock's "The Birds", except that it's centered around a programmer who is attacked by a swarm of binder pages with an index number and the single line "This page intentionally left blank." -- Alex Crain
Want to buy your Pack or Services from MandrakeSoft? Go to http://www.mandrakestore.com
