(swiped off an overclocking NG)

 THE TOUGHEST DECISION: SHOULD MY LOVED ONE BE PLACED IN AN ASSISTED
COMPUTING FACILITY?

   For family members, it is often the most difficult and painful 
decision they will face: to accept that a loved one - a parent, a 
spouse, perhaps a sibling - is technologically impaired and should no 
longer be allowed to live independently, or come near a computer or 
electronic device without direct supervision. The time has come to 
place that loved one into the care of an Assisted Computing Facility. 
But you have questions.  So many questions.

We at Silicon Pines want to help.

WHAT EXACTLY IS AN "ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY"?

   Sometimes referred to as "Homes for the Technologically Infirm," 
"Technical Invalid Care Centers," or "Homes for the Technically 
Challenged," Assisted Computing Facilities (ACFs) are modeled on 
assisted living facilities, and provide a safe, structured residential 
environment for those unable to handle even the most common, everyday 
multitasks. Most fully accredited ACFs, like Silicon Pines, are an 
oasis of hope and encouragement that allow Residents to lead productive,
technologically relevant lives without the fear and anxiety associated 
with actually having to understand or execute the technologies 
themselves.


WHO SHOULD BE IN AN ACF?

  Sadly, technology is advancing at such a dramatic rate that many 
millions, of all ages, will never truly be able to understand it, 
putting an undue burden on those friends and family members who must 
explain it to them. But unless the loved one is suffering from a truly 
debilitating affliction, such as  reinstallzheimers, the decision to 
commit is entirely personal. You must ask yourself:

"How frustrated am I that my parent/sibling/spouse is unable to open an
email attachment?"

"How much of my time should be taken up explaining how RAM is different 
from hard drive memory?"

"How many times can I bear to hear my dad say, 'Hey, can I replace the
motherboard with a fatherboard? Ha ha ha!'"

  To make things easier, we have prepared a list of Warning Signs which 
we encourage you to return to often, or, if you can't figure out how to
bookmark it, print out. Also, please take a moment to read "I'm Glad 
I'm in Here! - A Resident's Story."

MUST IT BE FAMILY, OR CAN I PLACE ANYONE IN AN ACF?

  Several corporations have sought permission to have certain 
employees, or at times entire sales Departments, committed to ACFs. At 
present, however, individuals can be committed only by direct family or 
self-internment.  The reason is simple: there are not nearly enough 
ACFs in the world to accommodate all the technologically challenged. 
For example, there are currently only 860,000 beds available in ACFs, 
but there are 29 million AOL users.

HOW MUCH WILL IT COST?

  ACF rents range from free up to $12,500 per month. The disparity is
currently a point of contention in the ACF industry. Many residents are
covered through government programs such as Compucaid or Compucare, but
reimbursement rates are low and only cover a portion of the fees.

  Exacerbating the situation are the HMOs (HelpDesk Maintenance
Organizations), which often deny coverage, forcing residents to pay out 
of pocket or turn to expensive private techcare insurers such as
BlueCache/BlueScreen.

  Offsetting the costs are technology companies themselves, many of 
which subsidize ACFs. Firms such as Microsoft, Dell, Qualcomm, and 
America Online will pay up to 100 percent of a resident's monthly bill, 
but there is a catch. ISPs, for instance, require residents to sign 
service contracts lasting a year or more. Microsoft, meanwhile, 
prohibits the installation of any competitive software, while Priceline 
requires that residents buy shares of its stock, which seems onerous 
but saves residents on lavatory tissue.

HOW OLD MUST I BE TO HAVE SOMEONE COMMITTED?

   Until very recently, you had to be 18 or older to legally commit a 
family member. However, the now famous British court case Frazier vs. 
Frazier and Frazier has cleared the way for minors to commit their 
parents. In that case, 15-year-old Bradley Frazier of Leicester had his 
37-year-old parents committed to an ACF in Bournemouth after a judge 
ruled Ian and Janet Frazier were a "danger to themselves and the 
community." According to court records, Bradley told his parents about 
the I LoveYou virus and warned them not to click attachments, then the 
next day his parents received an I LoveYou email and clicked on the 
attachment because, they explained, "it came from someone we know."

WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR IN AN ACF?

   First, make sure it's a genuine Assisted Computing Facility, and not 
an Assisted Living Facility. To tell the difference, observe the 
residents. If they look rather old and tend to openly discuss bowel 
movements, this is probably 'assisted living.' On the other hand, if 
they vary in age and say things like, "I'm supposed to figure that out? 
I'm not Bill Gates you know!," this is probably 'assisted computing.'

   Also, at a well-run ACF, residents should lead full, independent 
lives, and should be allowed the use of many technology devices, 
including telephones, electric toothbrushes, and alarm clocks. However, 
only a facility's Licensed Techcare Professionals (LTPs) should perform 
computational or technological tasks such as installing programs or 
saving email attachments. And LTPs should NEVER answer residents' 
questions because studies have shown that answering user questions 
inevitably makes things worse. Instead, residents should simply have 
things done for them, relieving them of the pressure to "learn" or 
"improve." 

CAN A RESIDENT EVER GET OUT?

  No.

OK, THIS SOUNDS PROMISING. HOW CAN I LEARN MORE?

  For your enlightenment, we offer extensive information on Silicon 
Pines and the ACF lifestyle, which can be found by clicking one of the 
links in the navigation bars found at both the top and bottom of this 
page. But whatever you decide, keep in mind that due to demand, ACFs 
now have long waiting lists. WebTV & AOL users alone will take years to 
absorb.

-- 
    Tom Brinkman                       Corpus Christi, Texas, USA

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