While my opponents duke out the presidency, allow me to introduce the office of public relations to you. As many of you may realize, this title is a cover for the true nature of the office: marketing. And as we all know marketing is often the core of big business corruption. As such, the office of public relations should be in the hands of the least corruptable of the candidates.
Note that my opponents, Erin and Topher are also running for the Presidency of the UUG, a campaign rife with blackmail (hitmen), terror (soul sucking), and bribery (dates and pizza). But this message is not meant to sway or influence the offices of president and vice president, though with the current candidates, the future seems dire indeed. Instead this message is an offering of hope. As the Public Relations Officer (Marketer) for the UUG, I offer a unique set of talents that may impact the club in more than the PR area. Requirements and why I best meet them: 1.) Assist the President in writing and posting announcements to the mailing list and web site. - I currently run both the mailing list and web site for another club which requires messages and web updates at least once a week 2.) Coordinate development of attractive signs and flyers for club activities. - I am familiar with both The Gimp, ooImpress, pencils, markers, color crayons, posterboard, etc. - I have neat handwriting - I draw pretty 3.) Ensure wide distribution of signs and flyers - Since joining the UUG I have presented fliers in all of my technology classes - I have helped man the UUG booth on numerous occasions - I drew a pretty poster for the last booth But my history is less important than what I would like to do for the club as Mark...PR Officer: 1.) Make sure that professors in the CS, IT, IS, and Engineering departments are aware of future Install Fests, and provide then with fliers to distribute in their classes. 2.) Coordinate better with new users and arrange Install Fests and Newbie Meetings to give them more immediate experience and training in basic Linux use. "No Newbie Left Behind!" 3.) Work with the presidency and speakers to create a more interactive environment during presentations. 4.) Make sure that no tee shirt is created or distributed unless it is a very cool tee shirt indeed. None of this "SCO++ for President," or "Vote for Erin or meet my Hitman," or "I'm Topher and I don't eat tofu" tee shirts that our presidency would push on us. More reasons to vote for me: 1.) I won a ward coloring contest beating out both Andrew McNabb and SCO++, and if Erin and Topher had participated I woulda kicked their booties too. 2.) I have higher standards of incorruption than Erin and Topher, who already show their true colors by placing 100% emphasis on the presidential campain (power and glory), and show no interst in PR (serving you, the UUGies)*. 3.) I make my own pizza from scratch. 4.) Erin has offerd dates to those who vote for her in the presidential campaign, not the PR campaign. I on the other hand, make no such offer whatsoever. But if you're nice I may put in a good word for you with my sister**. 5.) As a bonus, I offer protection from hitmen, soul stealers, and non-tofu eaters, free of charge***. And with me in the PR office, you have some hope and future protection. In closing, I would like to comment on a serious statement from another member of the Election Campaign: If I win, my re-election party will take place in the new planetarium watching "The Wrath of Khan" - Jacob Albretsen Boy that guy has my vote! -Jamie K. Cummings_ Public Relations hopeful. * Corruption may be obtained by offerings of a Mac Mini, 3/8" Copper coil (5.5" diameter at least 7 loops), vinyl tubing (2ft), steel clamps, clear pop bottles, and a Cobra Lily. ** Anyone wishing to date my sister must submit to screening, lectures, and signing of a waiver form that absolves me from any responsibility including but not limited to pysical, psychological, and emotional damages; public humiliation; death; or gerneral "you'll wish you'd never been born" mental state that may occur in the event you hurt my widdle sister's feelings at any time. *** Protection dependent on individuals finding me. I don't have time to monitor all of you 24/7. -------------------- BYU Unix Users Group http://uug.byu.edu/ The opinions expressed in this message are the responsibility of their author. They are not endorsed by BYU, the BYU CS Department or BYU-UUG. ___________________________________________________________________ List Info: http://uug.byu.edu/cgi-bin/mailman/
