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**************************************** When In Rome Two Iraqis meet in California. One starts to greet the other in Arabic, the language of their native country. The other Iraqi waves him away contemptuously and says, "We're in America now. Speak Spanish!" ***************************************** Another French Joke "A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him. The French general asked, 'Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?' "In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic. "And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown pants." - Author unknown; forwarded by a News & Views reader *********************************** How to Subscribe If you know someone who might like to receive News & Views, you can sign 'em up at: http://www.chuckmuth.com. Also, occasionally, the automatic listserve we use will "bump" subscribers off the list if your mailbox is full or experiences some other technical glitch. If you suddenly stop receiving News & Views, the first thing you should do is try to re-subscribe using the link above. ***************************************** Oblivious to the Obvious "Confusion and mistakes are the norm in war, the issue is how well they are handled. For example, there now seem to be fewer Fedayeen harassing U.S. supply lines than there were last week. Why? We've killed many of them." - "Review & Outlook," OpinionJournal.com, 4/1/03 **************************************** Rum Punch "An unbending rule of Washington life is that the one thing critics can never forgive you for is being right. This is worth keeping in mind amid the obloquy now being heaped on Donald Rumsfeld. Judging by all of the blind-quote vituperation the Secretary of Defense is receiving, a casual reader might be surprised to learn that we haven't yet lost the Iraq war. "U.S. troops are within 50 miles of Baghdad, probing Republican Guard lines that are being shredded from the air. The surrounded enemy has suicide bombers, guerrilla harassment and Peter Arnett left as an offensive strategy. We can hit the enemy, he can't much hit us. Yet Mr. Rumsfeld is being assailed for having given the 'bum advice' to President Bush that has brought our troops this far this fast. "...The Rumsfeld war plan...had to be designed with a far smaller military than we had in 1991. To refresh some memories, defense spending fell in absolute terms in seven of eight years of the Clinton Presidency. At the time this was called the 'peace dividend,' believe it or not. Colin Powell was able to deploy the Ronald Reagan war machine in 1991; Mr. Rumsfeld inherited the rump Clinton model, about 40% smaller in troops, older planes and ships. "Mr. Rumsfeld is a payback target now precisely because he bucked the military status quo. He has fought for more (and smarter) defense spending against a Congress that would rather build more highways and subsidize more corn fields. He has challenged the Army brass to do as well as the Marines in introducing technology and mobility into their strategic doctrine. Note that most of the critical TV generals are retired Army, not Air Force." - "Review & Outlook," OpinionJournal.com, 4/1/03 **************************************** Left vs. Left "...I find it so baffling that so many of my fellow liberals oppose the war against, arguably, the most vicious dictator since Hitler. In case you missed it friends, the Sunday before the war began was the 10th anniversary of Saddam Hussein's nervegasing of 5,000 Iraqi civilians in Halabja. Have we forgotten the horrific pictures of distorted bodies in piles? Have we forgotten in that human tyre were the bodies of hundreds of little babies? "If so, read the reports out of Basra of Saddam Hussein's secret security force putting guns to the heads of little children to force their fathers to fight, or reports of suspected coalition collaborators having their tongues cut out and left to bleed to death in public parks as a warning to others? Or reports after the last Gulf War of Hussein's thugs rounding up accused spies and forcing them to drink gas in front of their families and then lighting them on fire?" - Columnist Bob Beckel ***************************************** Still Too Much Time on Their Hands Let's see. We have a war going on in Iraq, North Korea is still shooting off missiles, terror attacks are still in the works around the world, first-responders are being tied up babysitting goofy "peace" activists, the economy is still just slugging along and highly qualified judicial nominees are cooling their heels in the Capitol waiting for confirmation hearings and votes. Sounds like a full congressional plate to me. Uh-uh. With all these critical matters before them, two numbskull Democrats somehow still found time to introduce a resolution condemning Americans who voluntarily join private, gender-based clubs such as Augusta National. "Reps. Carolyn Maloney (D-N.Y.) and John Lewis (D-Ga.) are sponsoring the resolution," reports CNSNews.com. The resolution "has 13 co-sponsors, including Rep. Richard Gephardt, a Democrat presidential candidate." And Democrats wonder why fewer and fewer people take them seriously these days? ************************************ NEW! 4.75 cents-per-minute Long Distance * All state-to-state calls in the continental U.S. * Residential or commercial * 6-second billing increments * 24 hours/day * 7 days/week * No access codes * No minimums * No activation fees * Calling Card Rate is 10 cents per minute * No monthly service charge unless your bill is less than $20.00 a month (then a $1.99 service charge will apply) * No need to change your local phone company * No hassles * Easy sign-up. * And a small portion of each bill goes to help continue publishing our FREE Chuck Muth's News & Views e-newsletter. Just go to: <http://www.GOPLongDistance.com> today. ***************************************** Benedict Arnett Finds New Home "If you've been lying awake nights worrying about where Peter Arnett's next meal is coming from, you'll sleep well tonight. The disgraced journalist has landed a job with the Daily Mirror, London's virulently anti-American tabloid. "According to some reports Arnett had apologized for participating in an Iraqi propaganda show, but he makes clear in his first Mirror column that this was an April Fool's joke. 'I am still in shock and awe at being fired, ' he wails. ('Shock and awe'--way to turn a phrase there, Peter!) 'Overnight my successful NBC reporting career was turned to ashes. And why? Because I stated the obvious to Iraqi television; that the US war timetable has fallen by the wayside.'" - James Taranto, Best to the Web, 4/1/03 ***************************************** Useful Idiots Are MIA "Where have all the Human Shields gone? My guess is that if you want to interview one today you have to become 'embedded' at a Starbucks in Boston or San Francisco." - News & Views reader Jim Lafferty **************************************** Unfair & Unbalanced "(Watching PBS' Bill Moyers) makes you long for something more balanced, like Al Jazeera." - Author and columnist Ann Coulter at the Media Research Center's annual Dishonor Awards last week **************************************** If Al Were King of the Forest "New Zealand's prime minister has suggested that the war in Iraq would not be happening if Al Gore had been elected president of the United States," reports CNSNews.com. Maybe he has a point. Gore may well have surrendered to al Qaeda the day after 9/11. **************************************** Al Gore and the Ditzy Chicks We're sure Ditzy Chick Natalie Maines - who recently flushed her career down the john by telling a London audience how ashamed the group was that President Bush was from Texas - is lying low and hoping the furor surrounding her remarks dies down and fades away. Instead, former Vice President and inventor of the Internet Al Gore stirred the pot again by defending the southern songstress in a speech to a college audience last week. In his talk, AlGore complained that the Chicks were made to feel "un-American," and lamented that they suffered "economic retaliation because of what was said." His conclusion: "Our democracy has taken a hit." So Maines has the right to say something stupid - but you and I don't have the right to criticize her criticism or make a decision not to buy her products just because we reject and were offended by her geo-political deep-thinking? And because of US, democracy is on the ropes? Makes perfect sense. Thanks to AlGore, the Dixie Chicks controversy continues to swirl. Or maybe not. It's not like anybody pays any attention to anything Gore says anyway. **************************************** Glory Days for the Left "The antiwar groups are reliving Vietnam, and the politicians are giddily pushing an anachronistic, partisan agenda. (They) support the war resolution, while decrying Bush's tactics and diplomacy, and sanctimoniously curry favor by supporting the troops with resolutions. ... This trilogy of shame - craven, hypocritical and dumb in equal measures - is the hallmark of the Barbara Boxer-Tom Daschle wing of the Democratic Party. They bear such rage toward President Bush that they will fiddle and debate, a la the United Nations, while the world chokes on nerve gas and hypocrisy." - Former San Jose (Calif.) Mayor Tom McEnery, San Jose Mercury News, 3/31/03 **************************************** Be It Resolved Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform has been at the front of the battle for the hearts and minds of state legislators. So far this year ATR has prepared and sent out almost a dozen resolutions to statehouses urging local elected officials to get on record with regard to a number of federal issues and give each state's congresscritters in DC a sense of how "the folks back home" feel. One of those resolutions expresses support for the President on the Iraq. To date, 19 states have passed the resolution and 16 more have introduced it, pending a vote. Interestingly, Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle's South Dakota has passed a support resolution despite of how "saddened, saddened" the Democrat leader was at how "miserably" he felt the President had failed at diplomacy. It helps the cause greatly when state elected officials are pressured to pressure their federal elected officials to do the right thing in DC. Take a look at all of ATR's current resolutions and give your state legislator a call urging him or her to hop on the wagon. You can find the current list at: http://www.atr.org/lap/index.html ************************************ Hitting the Airwaves Here are scheduled talk show appearances where I'll be discussing the idea of pulling the U.S. out of the U.N. April 2, 2003 at 7:05 a.m. (ET) Phil Paleologos Show Cable Radio Network April 2, 2003 at 10:00 a.m. (ET) Randy Renshaw Show KSCJ in Sioux City, IA April 3, 2003 at 11:30 a.m. (ET) Bob Dutko Show WMUZ in Detroit, MI April 9, 2003 at 8:00 a.m. (ET) Clay Douglas Show Free American Network Hope you'll "turn on and tune in." ********************************* ********************************* Published by Citizen Outreach Chuck Muth Editor/Publisher 611 Pennsylvania Avenue, SE, #439 Washington, DC 20003-4303 E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Citizen Outreach is a 501(c)(3) non-profit public policy organization and does not endorse candidates or lobby for specific legislation. The opinions and views expressed in Chuck Muth's News & Views reflect those of the writers, editors and columnists therein and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Citizen Outreach, its officers, directors or employees. 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