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CHUCK MUTH�S NEWS & VIEWS
April 7, 2004

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I�M BAAAAACK!

OK, I�m back from �Death Cruise 2004.�  The trip was great...except for the lousy 
weather.  Cold, rain, hail, drizzle, clouds, wind...but at least the beer was cold.

By mutual agreement, those on the trip have resolved that �what happened on the lake, 
stays on the lake,� so I can�t reveal...well, what happened on the lake.  All I can 
say is that everyone should pay VERY CLOSE attention to those warning labels which 
state that alcohol and fireworks don�t mix!  :)

Now back to the news�

FUNNY FARM CANDIDATE

Before leaving on my vacation last Thursday, I sent out a combined �News & Views/DC 
Confidential� from Las Vegas.  I didn�t think there was anything particularly 
remarkable or unusual in the issue.  But upon return I discovered that a North 
Carolina 5th congressional district candidate named Nathan Tabor had gotten his 
panties all up in a twist over my report that a number of his GOP primary opponents 
were accusing him of playing fast and loose with facts in his campaign.  And he was 
none too pleased about being called on the carpet for it.

Over the weekend, the wannabe congress-critter frantically attempted to reach me and 
set me straight.  When I failed to respond to his calls and emails for a few days 
(since I was incommunicado on Lake Powell), he threw a conniption and sent an email 
accusing me of not caring �about ethics or integrity in politics.�  A strange charge 
coming from a guy accused of...well, lacking ethics and integrity in politics.

I finally received and responded to his emails yesterday when I got back home...which 
resulted in a series of additional email exchanges.  And I�m happy to report that I no 
longer think the guy is unethical at all.  

I think he�s nuts.

I can�t even bring myself to reveal the exact contents of his emails.  It�s truly 
embarrassing that anyone - especially a Republican - could be this stupid and still be 
taken seriously as a candidate.  I think the guy hears voices in his head.  Dr. 
Demento used to play a song called �They�re Coming to Take Me Away� and I believe the 
author had Tabor in mind when he wrote it.  Little Nate also may well have been the 
inspiration for the lyrics, �Paranoia will destroy ya.�  

If this is who North Carolina�s 5th congressional district elects to represent them in 
Washington, God help us all.

COLORADO UPDATE

One last update from last Thursday�s e-newsletter: Colorado businessman Dave Liniger 
has since announced he will NOT be a Republican candidate for the state�s open U.S. 
Senate seat this year.  His decision appears to clear the way for a united GOP 
campaign behind former Rep. Bob Schaffer who will square off against Democrat Attorney 
General Ken Salazar next November for retiring Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell�s (R) seat.

RUNAWAY JURIES

Subsequent to the mistrial ordered last Friday in the $12 million Tyco case, Thomas 
Sowell has penned an excellent column (which, in reality, is redundant) on what�s 
wrong with our jury system today...and what needs to be done to fix it.  Check it out 
at:  http://washingtontimes.com/commentary/20040406-105544-5142r.htm

GOOD GRIEF

�(Florida) Gov. Jeb Bush endorsed a bill to allow illegal immigrants to get driver�s 
licenses, saying they are in the state anyway and that officials should accept the 
fact.�

- Associated Press, 4/7/04

THE BOTTOM LINE

�What's to talk about? It's illegal."

- Late Rep. Sonny Bono, California Republican, when asked to talk about illegal 
immigration

BIGGER FISH TO FRY

�This Thursday, Condoleezza Rice, the national security adviser, will testify publicly 
before the (September 11) commission.  Aren�t there more important things for her to 
be doing at the moment?  When you have a fire, do you really want the fire truck to 
stop for the firefighters to discuss a fire in the distant past?�

- Columnist Jay Ambrose

DESIGNATED DOOFUS

�Teddy Kennedy sounds like a man who needs a stiff drink.  Once the great white hope 
of the Democrats and having relegated himself to great white whale, Teddy is now the 
designated doofus for John Kerry, assigned to campaign for him in places where 
Monsieur Kerry can't, won't or shouldn't go.�

- Wesley Pruden, �Pruden On Politics,� 4/6/04

NO TIME FOR BUTT SITTERS

�I am a conservative.  I'm part of that group of conservatives in the party who is not 
altogether happy with George W. Bush. I see lots of reasons to find fault with steps 
that he has taken in various areas. But I'll tell you one thing: I think it's time 
that everybody in this country understand that when we are faced with a threat to our 
very survival, we put aside other things.

�Even if, let us say for a minute that Iraq was a mistake, as some people are trying 
to argue.  I'd rather have a president who errs on the side of defending this country, 
and going after our enemies, than somebody like [Democratic presidential contender] 
John Kerry, who wants to sit on his butt and does nothing while Americans die. And I 
think that's the key issue here." 

- Former U.N. ambassador Alan Keyes

OUT OF STEP, OUT OF FAVOR

�Alabama Gov. Bob Riley will not lead the GOP delegation to the Republican National 
Convention and may sit it out entirely, the Mobile Register reports. . . . Mr. Riley, 
who was rebuked by members of his own party when he pushed for a billion-dollar tax 
increase shortly after taking office, is not seeking a seat as a convention delegate.�

- Greg Pierce�s �Inside Politics,� 4/7/04

SMOKELESS SMOKESCREEN

�Scientific evidence abounds that there are different levels of risk associated with 
the various types of tobacco products. More importantly, there are tobacco products of 
the smokeless variety that can serve as an aid in helping people quit smoking. This is 
apparently not a message the National Institute on Aging (NIA) wants the public to 
hear. So in the spirit of Big Brother, this arm of the sprawling Health and Human 
Services Department is trying its own form of thought control and spending your tax 
dollars and mine to do it.

�The NIA recently produced a publication with the helpful sounding title of �Smoking: 
It's never too late to stop.�  So far so good, but the NIA publication � made 
available to the world via the Internet � went on to say �Some people think that 
smokeless tobacco (chewing tobacco and snuff), pipes and cigars are safer than 
cigarettes. They are not.�

�That statement is totally wrong as it applies to smokeless tobacco products. . . . 
According to researchers, if all of America's 46 million smokers were instead 
smokeless tobacco users, the number of Americans dying of tobacco-related diseases 
every year would drop from 419,000 to 6,000.�

- Ken Boehm, chairman of the National Legal and Policy Center
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