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FOOD FIGHT The Germans are coming! The Germans are coming! Subway Sandwiches has started an international food fight by using a tray liner in its German stores which (a) promotes Morgan Spurlock’s “Super-Size Me” crock-umentary, (b) makes fun of the Statue of Liberty, and (c) refers to that anti-American idiot Michael Moore in flattering terms. Interesting that Subway would bravely embark on such an anti-American advertising campaign over in Germany (hardly a staunch, dependable U.S. ally in recent times)...but doesn’t have the stones to do so here on our own shores. Anyway, our good friend Kerri Houston over at Frontiers of Freedom has taken the gloves off and is asking for our help in letting Subway know this kind of America-bashing marketing is unacceptable. If we want someone to dump on America...that’s what we have France, Michael Moore and John Kerry for! We don’t need it from an American corporation. So hop on over to our website at www.citizenoutreach.com where you’ll find a Houston Chronicle story on the emerging brouhaha (complete with an angry reaction by House Majority Leader Tom DeLay), a link to an image of the offending tray liner (along with an English translation), and a “call to arms” from Kerri, complete with all the necessary contact information for Subway’s executive office. _____________________________________ DONKEYS HOPPING MAD OVER “BUNNY SUIT” “The campaign of Sen. John Kerry yesterday accused NASA of leaking a widely circulated photo that shows the candidate wrapped from top to bottom in a baby blue ‘bunny suit,’ implying that it was a ‘dirty trick.’ . . . But the National Aeronautics and Space Administration told Fox News that the Kerry team saw the photos before publication and passed on their release.” - Washington Times, 7/28/04 (NOTE: If you still haven’t seen the photo that has the Kerryites in a lather, go to: http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040727/capt.ny10907271715.kerry_ny109.jpg PARANOIA WILL DESTROY YA “(Teresa Heinz Kerry) told National Public Radio yesterday that a pumpkin spice cookie recipe submitted to Family Circle magazine in her name -- which was universally panned by those who tried it -- was actually submitted without her knowledge. She suspects a dirty trickster.” - Holman W. Jenkins Jr., Political Diary, 7/28/04 A CHIP OFF THE OL’ BLOCKHEAD “He's a scumbag." - Chip Carter, the son of President Carter - who must have missed Teresa Heinz Kerry’s speech this week calling for more “civility” in politics - on Sen. Zell Miller, Georgia Democrat HIPPIE NOSTALGIA “A highlight for delegates (to the Democrat convention) during the early evening was a performance by the 1960s folk group Peter, Paul and Mary, which sang ‘Blowing in the Wind’ while middle-aged men and women in the audience swayed to the tune, making peace signs with their fingers.” - Washington Times, 7/28/04 RAG ARM “The incredibly long-faced presidential candidate (John Kerry) made an appearance at Fenway Park the other night to show what a regular guy he is, which was a challenge with a zillionaire at his side. John Kerry fooled half the crowd. The other half booed. Kerry bounced the ceremonial first pitch to the catcher, which either was a sign of a sore arm or no pitching arm at all. . . . (The probable) cause of Kerry's weak arm — all that wear and tear from throwing away someone else's war medals.” - Columnist Tom Knott RAGIN’ CAJUN SAYS BET THE FARM ON KERRY “Speaking to reporters at a breakfast hosted by the Christian Science Monitor here yesterday, (former Clinton adviser James) Carville said a victory for Mr. Kerry is about as certain as something can be in politics. ‘I think if Bush wins this race, it would be the greatest political achievement of my lifetime. I'll say it right now,’ he said. ‘If they do it, it will be one brilliant campaign.’ “ - Washington Times, 7/28/04 MOORE-ON BLAMES IMPEACHMENT FOR 9/11 “Filmmaker Michael Moore, who had said he would not attend the Democratic National Convention and who repeatedly has denied being a party member, has held several events around town and sat in former President Jimmy Carter's box at the convention Monday night. . . . At a press conference after the screening (of his schlockumentary “Fahren-hate 911”), he suggested that Congress was partly to blame for the September 11 attacks because valuable resources were wasted on the investigations that led to President Clinton's impeachment.” - Washington Times, 7/28/04 HOW WE HATE THEE “What is one to make of a political party in which, according to the Boston Globe, more than 90 percent of the delegates oppose the Iraq war — the defining issue of this election — while the candidate and the platform support it. And there isn't even a murmur of complaint? The easy answer is that it's just about power. The Democrats will do anything to get back into power, so it is said. But that is not it. . . . They hate Mr. Bush more than they hate the Iraq war.” - Columnist Tony Blankley REPUBLICANS & THE BLACK VOTE “(Republicans) will note that more and more blacks are stockholders, own homes, graduate from college and earn middle-class incomes. They will cite data showing high approval, particularly among black GenXers, for Republican hobbyhorses like school choice and personal retirement accounts. They will point to Colin Powell and Condi Rice as GOP role models. And they will tell themselves that it's only a matter of time before voting blacks break with Democrats in significant numbers. They are kidding themselves.” - Jason L. Riley, Wall Street Journal, 7/28/04 SURVEY SAYS! Do you think President Bush will get more than 10 percent of the black vote this November? * Yes * No Cast your vote by clicking the “Survey Says!” tab at www.citizenoutreach.com BE AFRAID...BE VERY, VERY AFRAID “We wander out (from the Democrat convention) onto the nearby streets, closed to traffic but still open for business. A beefy young man, perhaps 30, wearing an orange shirt, holds a piece of orange poster board on which a message is scrawled: ‘Bush rapes Iraq and won't pull out (to steal their oil).’ . . . (W)e ask if the sign is supposed to be pro- or anti-Kerry. ‘It's antioccupation,’ he says, adding that Kerry isn't much better than Bush and he plans to vote for Nader. But he warns darkly that if Nader wins, he'll be assassinated by the powers that be. ‘I voted for Kucinich. He would've got shot if he'd been elected, just like RFK.’ “Oh, it turns out this guy teaches in the Boston public schools.” - James Taranto, Best of the Web, 7/28/04 GIVE IT BACK “In his inimitable style, Bill Clinton assailed the Bush tax cuts Monday night by joking that he felt bad because he had finally made it into a tax bracket where he was rich enough to benefit. It was an effective line. But if the former President truly wants to soothe his conscience, we have a simple solution: Give it back. If Mr. Clinton and his Senatorial spouse don't believe it's proper now that they are millionaires to pay taxes at the 35% top marginal rate, then they shouldn't. They can always pay instead at the Clinton-era rate of 39.6%, since the IRS isn't known for rejecting donations.“ - Wall Street Journal, 7/28/04 BUBBA WHOPPER “If Bill Clinton created 22 million new jobs in the 1990s, then I’m the Easter Bunny. . . . The economic boom of the 1990s was the peace dividend for our victory in the Cold War, made possible by the national defense policies of Ronald Reagan, sustained by the fiscal discipline imposed by a Republican Congress, and created by the will of the American people.” - House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-Texas) IS THIS HOW MICHAEL MOORE GOT HERE? “Our borders are sieves. Our normally commendable tolerance and the welcome mat we put out to the world have allowed in people who hate America…” - Columnist Cal Thomas CATCH AND RELEASE “Hi Chuck: Even here in Charlotte, North Carolina. Last night a van was stopped with 14 illegals in it and the police had to let them go on their way because there is nowhere to put them, they said, and no money to ship them back. I am fed up with this. Governments at all levels spend huge amounts of money, and there's not enough money to enforce immigration laws?” - News & Views reader Victoria Smith OOPS...GUESS WE HIT ANOTHER RAW NERVE In yesterday's News & Views, we took our friends over at Laptoplobbyist.com to task for taking Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell to task (using a relatively inoffensive comparison to dogs in the process) for what they called his lack of "party loyalty." We noted that the senator took an oath to defend the CONSTITUTION, not the Republican Party. In return, Laptop’s executive director, Chris Carmouche, got his tights all up in a twist and he fired off this angry note to us: “Mr. Muth: I will debate you sir anywhere anytime in any forum, if you are enough of a man to take up the challenge. Lack of a moral compass, which you seem to exhibit, is a stain on the conservative movement and this country. If you accept my challenge, I’ll bring the Formula 409.” Yeah, whatever. I’m surprised he didn’t “double dare” me. Lost in the kerfuffle (for all you Jimmy Taranto fans), however, was a passage in a letter Laptop’s founder, Carter Clews, sent to Sen. Campbell suggesting that maybe it’s the DOGS who should be offended for being compared to politicians...not the other way around. Here’s the case Mr. Clews made: * Dogs stand by their friends - politicians stand up their friends. * Dogs are unfailingly loyal through thick and thin - politicians feign loyalty when their fat's in the fire. * Dogs wag their tails when you throw them a bone - politicians throw you a bone when you wag your tale. * Dogs cannot tell a lie - politicians will not tell the truth. * Dogs can be housebroken - politicians break the house. * Dogs are always happy to see you - politicians are always happy to be seen. * Dogs don't care if you're rich or not - politicians don't care if you're not rich. * Dogs love to go for a ride - politicians love to take you on one. * Dogs protect you from your enemies - politicians protect your enemies from you. * Dogs love much and leave too soon - politicians love little and stay too long. * Dogs ask nothing and give all - politicians take all and give nothing. * Dogs always remember the sound of your voice - politicians rarely remember to return a call. While we can argue with Mr. Clews over the "party loyalty" point, it's hard to argue with THAT! That’s it for today. I’m outta here. Gotta head over to Wal-Mart and pick me up a new moral compass. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Chuck Muth’s News & Views is published by Citizen Outreach, a non-partisan, 501(c)3 non-profit corporation. The opinions and views expressed in Chuck Muth's News & Views reflect those of the writers, editors and columnists therein and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Citizen Outreach, its officers, directors or employees. 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