>From Keith Rushworth: > *1 My Husband and I made love last night. I read in the Daily Mirror that > we should have worn masks, but we didn’t. Will we die?* > > Yes, you will. But not of Covid19. > > *2 My Granddad is 93. He has diabetes, dementia, and heart issues and > lives in a care home. What is his life expectancy with this deadly virus > around?* > > About the same. > > *3 Is Boris Johnson able to run the country properly without Parliament > sitting in the normal way?* > > This is a silly question. Our MP’s are happy to sit at home being paid for > running the country. Boris’s ability is not an issue, since Dominic > Cummings runs the country. > > *4 My husband has committed suicide due to the lockdown. He was 25. I am > left with a small daughter. Can I claim against the Government for causing > his death?* > > Don’t be silly. > > *5 The epidemic seems to be running down everywhere. If the vaccine is not > ready until it’s over, will I still need the vaccine?* > > Definitely. > > *6 Will the vaccine be dangerous, given that there will have been so > little time to produce and safety test it?* > > Of course. > > *7 I understand that the Government is taking on billions of debt in order > to fund the lockdown. How will they repay it?* > > Raise your taxes, cut your services, and possibly sell off the NHS to > American corporations. > > *8 I understand that children are virtually immune from the virus. But now > that schools might reopen, I worry that my little boy might die as a result > of going to school. Is that possible?* > > It certainly is. He could be run over by a bus. > > *9 Is it true that people used to die before Covid19 appeared? I never > remember the BBC reporting deaths like they do now.* > > There is some scientific research showing that people did die before > Covid19, but none of it has been peer-reviewed. I seem to remember a huge > number died in the Iraq War, but they were all foreigners. > > *10 I understand that there are still travel restrictions between > different countries, even when the countries concerned both have the virus. > Does this make sense?* > > Yes. For example, if you are French you are more likely to die of English > Covid, and if you are English you have an estimated 30 times higher risk of > death from garlicky French Covid. > > *11 The Swedes didn’t have a lockdown. Are they all dead now?* > > Of course. Stockholm is now for sale on Rightmove. > > *12 How can we be so certain that the Chinese lie about their deaths and > other things, while our own Government does not?* > > I’m getting tired of answering such idiotic questions. Even the Duke of > Edinburgh knew the answer to that in the 1980’s when he pointed out that > the Chinese have slitty eyes. > > *13 I’ve heard it said that the docility of the British public in the face > of the lockdown is equivalent to a sloth on Valium. Do you agree?* > > What dose of Valium is the sloth on? > > *14 Will the Government give us back all our Human Rights when this is > over?* > > Dream on. > > *15 It has been 12 years since the 2008 bank collapse, and we have not > fully recovered. Will it take another twelve years to recover from the > lockdown collapse? I don’t like to be a pessimist.* > > I know how you feel. But there is this wretched thing called Reality. > > *16 I feel really, really scared of the Coronavirus. Is there a cure?* > > Stop watching TV News. > > > > >
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