July 6, 2007
Dear Mr. Sheikh Akhlaque Ahmed, Re: In search of a life partner (by Mr. Naser). Thank you very much for your very thought provoking reply to the request of Mr. Naser on the subject matter. I'm writing to congratulate you for your missionary zeal that you have shown here by way of spending your valuable time to do a bit of 'education' thing for the improvement of our greater Noakhalities outlook towards life, in particular towards the life partners. I took the liberty to do a bit of 'editing' by way of running the Spell & Grammar checker on both Mr. Naser's and your messages. This I felt was needed since in my perception your reply could be the foundation from where we may start anew and improve our communication among this Yahoo! Group consisting solely of Noakhalities. The document should therefore be preserved in its maximum accurate form, and hope you would be encouraged to contribute more in this forum. I think that people like you (and very humbly- like me) should not abdicate our responsibilities in bringing up the standard of our folks back home in Noakhali, whether they are currently residing there or spread out all over the world. We have come to believe that it is we the Noakhalities who have earned dubious distinction of being one of the most 'ridiculed' districts in Bangladesh, basically due to our own fault, and in extension due to some over zealous neighbour of our district who take it as their mission to make fun of our follies, in which we are definitely the unbeaten Champion. I'm sorry if this hurts anybody, but it is true and we the Noakhalities are in a denial mode and mostly blame others for this bad-name that our district has attracted among all the districts in Bangladesh. I would also like to draw an analogy to our fate and ill-fame to that of our beloved country - Bangladesh in world forum where we became Champion or Runner-up in 5 consecutive years and may be a bit better in the 6th and 7th year (not sure about exact standing now). Imagine, if our present day's non-party neutral caretaker government would not heed to such reports (Transparency International, Berlin) and blame the TI about this dubious distinction then we could have not been able to start fixing the problem in the first place. Therefore, let us understand that there may be some basic twisted-ego working in our psyche that is refraining us from recognising that there exists a problem and secondly, let us fix that problem first before embarking on all other ills that has been our 'fate' or our 'destiny' we came to believe with resigned attitude. Sorry for the long reply and let us keep this discussion rolling which may one day evolve into our kind of Magna Carta (charter of liberty from bad name...for Noakhalities) ! Sorry for the mistakes in this write up, if any. As I'm not as good and fluid as Mr. Ahmed. I would repeat my humble request to everybody to contribute more in this forum, no matter if their messages are not conforming to the guidelines as suggested by Mr. Ahmed. This is because wee would like our Members of this Group to open-up first and do some kind of 'induction' training here before they would bee feeling comfortable to discuss serious matter in terms of suggestions for "...better future of our beloved region - Noakhali.". Hope Mr. Ahmed would agree to this point and invit5e all the members just send messages showing their solidarity with the group and also take note of the 'changes' or 'edit' done by the Moderators or any Members while replying to those messages. This is an uphill task and we have to start from somewhere, and I suggest that let us start from today from this thread-of-message! Best wishes to the Group, M. Hafiz Ullah 6-7-2007, 2:55 PM PS. Mr. Ahmed's write up and analysis is valid for all the districts' people, as well as for people of this subcontinent, if not for all the people living in developing countries. Hope to hear from him soon. CC: "Noakhali" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, <[email protected]>, "M. Hafiz Ullah" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, < [EMAIL PROTECTED]> On 7/5/07, Sheikh Akhlaque Ahmed <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: Mr. Naser wants to marry someone. He wants a beautiful life partner. He wants this life partner not only for himself, but also for his family members. Well, guess what! Is this place a platform for choosing life partners? I think we Noakhalites gathered here to contribute to the better future of our beloved region - Noakhali. We must always engage ourselves with constructive nation building suggestions that may help social and economical upliftment of our area. I notice with sadness that many of the participants are not serious about what they write or talk. Many writings only contain personal dialogues which are unnecessary at this stage. Can I ask the group members with due humbleness that we write all the problems being suffered by our Noakhali people with possible recommendations to overcome them? Well, Mr. Naser, don't misunderstand me. As a qualified groom, you will soon be able to find a bride. What do you mean by `for your family'? A bride is married to you and not to your family. If family members can not cope with the bride it is their problem, not with the bride herself. What happens if a sister puts an advert like you in this forum asking a groom `not only for herself but also for her family'? Would you be agreed to marry her just to be a part of her family. I have found that boys suddenly becomes too dutiful to parents when it comes to married life and expects that wife should cope with the husbands family at any cost. Nobody thinks that a girl leaves everything behind her and it is very very difficult to cope with a new environment. In our country the post-marriage rituals are followed like religious scriptures and that makes the mind of the new bride hostile to the in-laws family forever. We as 21st century generation must shun all those rituals and look beyond our so called culture. I do salute the positive things about our culture, but not at the cost of my personal life and my dear ones. Remember, a wife is the dearest of all precious things in the world, if she is a good one (al hadith). It is the responsibility of the husband to make her good. My study says a new husband feels helpless soon after his marriage due to the pressure of our so called rituals. May be I am taking things too far, but what I want to mean is that one must solely find a life partner for himself, and not for the family. And try to pass first few months of your married life away from your parental family, if this is possible. This will help you build a very good and lasting relationship with your wife, which will not be withered by hostile propaganda or comments. Now come to the point of beauty. It is not clear what Mr. Naser meant by beauty. Most of the time our Bangladeshi boys consider a fair complexioned girl as beautiful. To me the real beauty is the beauty of heart. Beauty of heart always increases with the passage of time whereas beauty of skin decays with time. We must put highest consideration on education, personal behaviour and family upbringing. If these three are correct than any girl is beautiful. If not, than the life is a hell. Lastly, Mr. Naser's appeal is incomplete. You work in a 5* hotel, but in what capacity? What is your qualification? What about your own family? Where is your full bio data? If someone asks you to find a bride with the same small data as you have provided, would you be able to find a bride? Or shall you offer your near ones to this sort of bridegroom? Certainly not. So please be clear, detailed and specific. May Allah help you in your quest. I write this long mail to remind others what they should do if any of them has anything like this in their minds. Good luck to all. Akhlaque
From London
*Hafiz <[EMAIL PROTECTED] <slsmhu%40gmail.com>*> wrote: If you are serious then you may post your bio-data here for us to have some more info before we can possibly help you connect with suitable life-partner. Wish you all the luck in this venture! * *On 7/3/07**, naser11158 <[EMAIL PROTECTED] <naser11158%40yahoo.com>*> wrote: Dear All of my friends in this Y!Group, Wish you a charming day. I m a **C.A. professional working in a 5-star hotel in finance department. As a member of this group I honestly believe you guys may be able to help me to find out my life partner. I am a simple Muslim man like to lead honest life and need a beautiful partner for not only me but also for my family.* * * *So, my dear friends if you can help me, please feel free to contact me for more details. With regards Naser (Senbag, Noakhali) * * *
