-------- Original Message-------------------
Kecemburuan... satu kata yg menjadi momok bagi aq... I hate my self when i get cemburu 1always make me not comfortable ,with my self and guy that i feel cemburu.. you know what....after for so long time...i feel again about cemburu.... i don't know why ..it make me feel not comfort..apalg pas kej td malem.. bete abizzz...but in front of him..i always showing my smiling face.. i have to pretend that i happy...not jeles..i don't wanna screw up everything.. but who i am? i am not somebody ..i am just Free Lance that every man can touch my body..can make love with me..i can't being loved with somebody aq ga pantes bwt dia... he just like me that feel free to know many girl that he want...and it make me feel jeles... first time i feel jeles when i read his FR when he made love with many girl.. i don't know why i feel jeles...i knew him jg baru2 ini...and maybe he think that i am just ordinary girl,just Free Lance..just ordinary friend puncaknya td malem...i really feel jeles abizz i hate my self when i get this feeling...but once again... i have to pretend..i have to show my smiling face in front of him last night...he look like somebody else..always menjauh dr aq.. i can feel it... not like when we together beberapa waktu yg lalu..yg nempel mulu.. di tengah2 keramaian orang...aq sll mencari2 dia abiz ngilang mulu segh.. mataku selalu mencari keberadaan dia... setiap aq liat dia..aq merasa tenang.. tp disaat aq tdk melihat dia..aq sll mencari2 keberadaan dia.. i always pretend i am ok in front of him..but in my mind..i am not ok.. i am jeles... i hate my self when i get this feeling... i am sorry that i ignore your command that i have to go home..i can't go home like this..i wanna sleep in your hug...but you ignore me..it make me feel so bete.. telp2 tmn2 yg bs aq stay disana...tp ga da yg bs...pdhl pgn curhat atau bobo aja..nenangin hati.. sorry that i make you feel not in good mood when i ignore your command.. ke miles...utk menghilangkan ke-bete-an aq n kecemburuan aq..tp apa daya... semakin aq berusaha tuk tdk memikirkan dia..semakin bayang2 dia kuat di pikiran aq... co2 cina yg bening2 aja...yg byk ajak aq gabung..aq ignore... aq pgn sendirian di tengah keramaian org..di tengah2 hingar bingar house music..trying to ignore him in my mind but i can't.. gw hny betah 1 jam di miles..krn pikiran aq sll ke dia terus.. until it make me create this thread... what should i do? stlh beberapa thn lamanya i never feel jeles..tryata skrg aq mengalami this feeling.. i really hate my self if i get this feeling.. i am not somebody to him... gw jg bukan TTM dia <krn dia jg ga pernah blg aq ttm dia >.. he is free thinker i think.. i even don't have any idea about his feeling to me... < he never say that> dengan meng-create this thread... aq dah siap dgn segala resiko-nya...terutama dr dia... aq yakin dia akan baca thread ini... resiko yg aq akan dapat: >>dia akan mundur,atau menjauh < krn maybe he think i am just somebody else n dia merasa terganggu dgn thread ini> >> dia akan bohong ma aq for everything,maybe he don;t wanna make me jeles < i hate if he do that to me > i have to ready about this resiko... i really hate when i get this feeling what should i do???? just let time answer it aq ga mau mengekang dia... i wanna he always tell the truth...<until now he always tell the truth> i don't wanna i lost him... i have "close friend,BM'er for 1.5 years but i never feel jeles to him.. Bm'er yg dkt bgt ma aq akhir2 ini,,i never feel jeles to him... but why..to guy(Bm'er jg) that i knew for few weeks..i feel more jeles??? what happend to me??? i know my self that i am free lance that can't receive any love from men.. if Bm'er punya pengalaman spt itu... apa segh yg kalian lakukan tuk menghilangkan rasa cemburu itu?apa kalian jg pernah cemburu..?? cemburu ini hubungan antara cewe ke cowo...atau cowo ke cewe... plzz...tell me what should i do? __________________ Hp:0856.753.8879 pic2 aq,liat di http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ce_bayaran_cr_co_cina/my_photos ____________________________________________________________________________________Fussy? Opinionated? Impossible to please? Perfect. Join Yahoo!'s user panel and lay it on us. http://surveylink.yahoo.com/gmrs/yahoo_panel_invite.asp?a=7
