My highlights from The Ashes.  I sent this to a few friends back home.

1.       There were four runouts I think, three of which involved Watson.  He
must not be very bright.  Diamond duck for Katich.

2.       I enjoyed seeing Clarke get out in the final innings and shout
"F*** off" in front of the England players.  Couldn't hide his despair.

3.       Johnson getting knocked for 20 off one over by the 10/11th wicket
partnership

4.       Barmy Army singing "He bowls to the left, he bowls to the right,
that Mitchell Johnson, his bowling is s**te" to the tune of Sloop John B.  He
would have had that for 100+ hours by the end.  The Barmy Army crushed
Australia's biggest threat.

5.       I enjoyed us sitting next to a bloke at the SCG and gradually start
winding him up by talking amongst ourselves about the parlous state of
Australian cricket.  The icing on the cake was when his four or five year
old son said "Dad are Australia going to lose the game?" and his dad said
irritably "Let them have the Ashes, their economy is f***ed they've got to
have something."  It had really got to him.

6.       Was in the pub for the fourth day and after a round of "Your next
queen in Camilla Parker Bowles" and other songs, an Aussie came over to
start arguing with me.

7.       The Vodafone add finally getting pulled where Ponting is playing
blindfold to "give the poms a chance"

8.       Favourite commentary moment:  "Johnson walks down the pitch and
thinks about saying something but then realises that the scoreboard won't
back him up".

9.       Ponting losing his rag with the umpire.   Apparently Pietersen told
him he'd hit it to wind him up.

10.   The loss in Perth actually made this better because it gave them some
hope.  Everyone had conceded after Adelaide but then they were up for it
thinking it was going to be the usual fight back.

11.   Ponting saying "there is absolutely no reason why we couldn't win it
5-0." before the series started.

12.   Catches that turned out to be no balls.  Beer's one at the SCG was
followed by a chorus of "Always step on the right side of the line" to the
tune of "Always look on the bright side of life".  Cook was on 46 and went
on to make almost 200.  Beer had played just five first class matches before
being picked, and a no ball is frankly unforgivable on someone that takes
four steps to the crease.

13.   Ponting’s adverts for Swisse vitamins.  Frankly if they make you look
like him then I'm not interested.

14.   Likewise if they make you bat with an average of 15.

15.   The Aussie selectors saying when it was all over that they had "done a
good job" but refusing to answer a journalist's request to give examples of
which decisions were good.

16.   Ponting in the dressing room with the team on the first day of the
fifth test.  I envisage it was like the episode of The Office where they
have Rowan in to do the training and David is talking over him.

17.   Botham calling Phil Hughes a cheat, and having a brawl with Chappel in
the car park.

18.   Being able to take Broad and Finn out of the side and still being
excellent.

19.   Finally having a gloveman who is a mouthy little sh#t, nibbling away
at them from behind the wicket AND can score runs quickly.

20.   Observing that the Aussies barely ever congratulated England players
on getting 50s or 100s.  Poor sportsmanship and what bad losers it shows
them to be.  In contrast the Barmy Army made a real effort to wear pink to
support the Jane McGrath Foundation on day 3.

21.   That Boxing Day morning in Melbourne.  The holiest of holies in world
cricket.  They had just won in Perth and then got skittled for 98 from ten
catches behind the wicket.  It was incredible.  We had been used to early
wickets falling but they just kept coming.  Mind you, it was a bowlers
paradise.  That's why we knocked 513 in reply.

-- 
Boo!  Thick Mick Out!

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