You might be a Redneck Taliban if
You might be a Redneck Taliban if...
...You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to
beer.
...You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but
you can't afford shoes.
...You have more wives than teeth.
...You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
...You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
...You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition
in your robe.
...You've felt the urge to rub one out after seeing a woman's exposed
ankle.
...You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.
...You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with
your cave.'
...You wipe your ass with your bare left hand, but consider bacon
unclean.
Shook
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