Ahhh..usenet. Reminded me of a couple of Spafford’s quotes that are still fairly relevant today if you just replace ‘usenet’ with your medium of choice.
“Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. ” ________________________________ Axiom #1: The Usenet is not the real world. The Usenet usually does not even resemble the real world. Corollary #1: Attempts to change the real world by altering the structure of the Usenet is an attempt to work sympathetic magic -- electronic voodoo. Corollary #2: Arguing about the significance of newsgroup names and their relation to the way people really think is equivalent to arguing whether it is better to read tea leaves or chicken entrails to divine the future. Axiom #2: Ability to type on a computer terminal is no guarantee of sanity, intelligence, or common sense. Corollary #3: An infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards could produce something like Usenet. Corollary #4: They could do a better job of it. Axiom #3: Sturgeon's Law (90% of everything is crap) applies to Usenet. Corollary #5: In an unmoderated newsgroup, no one can agree on what constitutes the 10%. Corollary #6: Nothing guarantees that the 10% isn't crap, too. From: Don Kuhlman [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2012 6:43 AM To: NT System Admin Issues Subject: Re: OT - Clean Joke - Wow - that's been a while :) ________________________________ From: Michael B. Smith <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> To: NT System Admin Issues <[email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>> Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 4:23 PM Subject: RE: OT - Clean Joke - Honestly, I have a printed copy of this joke (with minor changes appropriate for changing technology), from Usenet, dated October, 1981. It was (perhaps), more timely then – long before AutoSave. ☺ From: Don Kuhlman [mailto:[email protected]]<mailto:[mailto:[email protected]]> Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 12:01 PM To: NT System Admin Issues Subject: OT - Clean Joke - This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in a while! Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments... They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports. They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off... Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.... Finally, the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!' Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES... ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to [email protected] with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin
