I must say, this is most amusing and I can so relate to all of these being a Southern gal. #13 is especially true
I think you need to add this as #21: Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a yankee and a [EMAIL PROTECTED] yankee. On Feb 6, 2008 7:19 AM, Tom Strader <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > ** > * * > * Southernisms:* > > 1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a > conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them. > > 2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip > greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess." > > 3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general > direction of "yonder." > > 4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: > "Going > to town, be back directly." > > 5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not > a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty > little bowl on the middle of the table. > > 6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not > use the term, but they know the concept well. > > 7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of > solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken > and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real > crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!) > > 8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right > near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" > can be 1 mile or 20. > > 9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference > between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. > > 10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing > turn signal is actually going to make a turn. > > 11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, > or an adverb. > > 12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident > of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or > something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless. > > 13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't > do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody! > > 14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're > related, even if only by marriage. > > 15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all." > > 16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. > > 17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and > coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast > food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. > > 18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you > know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! > > 19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea > indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea > unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. > > 20.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little > old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" > and go your own way. > > > > > > > -- Sherry Abercrombie "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one." -Albert Einstein ~ Upgrade to Next Generation Antispam/Antivirus with Ninja! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbelt-software.com/SunbeltMessagingNinja.cfm> ~
