The only thing lamer than that attempt at a comeback was the sad attempt to distract us with half-wit humor that followed.
-sc From: Andy Shook [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Friday, August 07, 2009 2:12 PM To: NT System Admin Issues Subject: RE: Andy out of commission You are such a butt-monkey... I've been off parole for several years now and have no desire to wipe and reload as a girl . Which reminds me.... Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a ' BREASTED AMERICAN.' 2. 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.' 4. 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 5. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.' HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. 3. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' 6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'Posterior CLEAVAGE Shook From: Steven M. Caesare [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Friday, August 07, 2009 11:20 AM To: NT System Admin Issues Subject: Andy out of commission I just got off the phone with Shook's parole officer. His request was granted by the incarceration board, so he will be away from the list for a few days for the surgery. Fortunately "Andy" is a unisex name, so we won't have to call her "Mrs. Shook" when she comes back post-op. Let's all be supportive of her life-long dream to escape the man's body she's been trapped in becomes a reality. -sc ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~
