I've been asked to review various NVO and GUE documents, and this is my next target. Hopefully these are helpful.
Section 1: 1) The [GUE] reference is stale. The referenced document is now an intarea work item. 2) "same was" should probably be "same way" 3) "applications, that" should be either "applications that" or "applications, which" Section 3: 4) "after UDP header" should be "after the UDP header". 5) Some of the field names aren't capitalized when they should be. 6) The last two paragraphs are repetitive and probably not needed. They all seem to say that the package MUST comply with GUE and NVO3. I think it's enough to say that once, but I also think you don't need to say it at all given that it's clear from the document already that these are done in the GUE and NVO3 context. 7) There are instances of "may" scattered around in this section and below that need to become MAY or some other word (RFC2119). Section 4: 8) Is that first "MUST be" necessary? Could you just say "are"? 9) The next two MUSTs are possibly not needed, for the same reason as in (6) above. 10) The subsections of Section 4 are indented. Was this prepared with some non-standard mechanism? Section 4.1: 11) Could "MUST set" just be "sets"? Could "MUST use" just be "uses"? Section 4.3: 12) Given that SHOULD (see its definition in RFC2119), what's a situation where one might legitimately not do what the SHOULD says? If there is no such case, make it a MUST; if there is such a case, please describe it. If you make it a "MUST", you can't use "avoid", because "avoid" leaves wiggle room. Section 5: 13) I think this has to be done more clearly. There are two actions to be taken here, and they should be described individually, preferably in their own subsections, and referencing by name the two registries that are being accessed. You might include a normative reference to the document where the registries are created, which I think is [GUE]. See RFC5226. -MSK
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