Thanks Dick! This is incredibly useful. I'll apply all the comments to the spec 
tomorrow before pushing it as -00 (pending chairs approval).

I'll reply to the (very few) comments I didn't agree/understand once I have a 
new draft.

EHL


From: Dick Hardt [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, April 18, 2010 8:56 PM
To: Eran Hammer-Lahav
Cc: OAuth WG
Subject: Editorial feedback on 4/17 draft

General comments:

Putting the flow description, diagram and steps in the section with the spec 
work well.

Use of "server" term. In numerous places, the term server is used instead of 
authorization server or resource server (maybe even web server). To avoid 
ambiguity, I would suggest the term server is never used, and the spec is 
explicit on which server is being referred to.

User authentication at AS: Suggest putting this in one section and then 
referring to it in 3.5.2.1 and 3.5.3.1 (and adding into 3.5.1)

Having 5 levels of sections seems overly deep with the bulk of the document 
being in 3.5 and 3.6.

Sections 4 and 5 seem weaker than the other sections. Would you like me to take 
a stab at rewriting those?

2. Introduction

These resources are usually private ...

Why the use of the word "private" instead of "protected"?

Description of autonomous flow is missing.

2.1


authorization endpoint

         The authorization server's HTTP endpoint capable of

         authenticating the resource owner and obtaining authorization,

         issuing tokens, and refreshing expired tokens.




Does the authorization endpoint issue tokens and refresh tokens? I thought that 
was only the token endpoint.


   client identifier

         An unique identifier issued by the client to identify itself to

         the authorization server.  Client identifiers may have a

         matching secret.


Why does the client identifier have to be issues by the client? Could it not be 
issued by the AS?

Why are verification code, user code, device code not defined?

2.2

 access token (or under revoked), the authorization server should

Typo

 access token (or until revoked), the authorization server should

3


   In many cases it is desirable to issue access tokens with a shorter

   lifetime than the duration of the authorization grant.  However, it

   is undesirable to require the resource owner to authorize the request

   again.  Instead, the authorization server issues a refresh token in



suggested change:


   In many cases it is desirable to issue access tokens with a shorter

   lifetime than the duration of the authorization grant.  However, it

   may be undesirable to require the resource owner to authorize the request

   again.  Instead, the authorization server issues a refresh token in

3.3

In WRAP we had a section entitled Parameter Considerations where many errata 
about parameters was contained.

3.5


User delegation flows are used to grant client access to protected

   resources by the end user without sharing the end user credentials

   (typically a username and password) with the client.  Instead, the

   end user authenticates directly with the authorization server, and

   grants client access to its protected resources.



suggested change:


User delegation flows are used to grant client access to protected

   resources by the end user without sharing the end user credentials

   (such as a username and password) with the client.  Instead, the

   end user authenticates directly with the authorization server, and

   grants client access to its protected resources.


3.5.1

Why does the user not have to authenticate to the AS in this flow?

3.5.1.2

It is unclear to me how to make the user-agent NOT include the fragment.

3.5.3

The terms for the different codes is not consistent. client code, client 
verification code, device code, device verification code


3.5.3.5.1



   If the end user authorized the request, the authorization server

   issues and access token and delivers is to the client by including it



typo:



 If the end user authorized the request, the authorization server

 issues an access token and delivers is to the client by including it

3.5.3.2.3

Great to have all the different error conditions. Spec should discuss what the 
client should do for each error code.

3.7.1 and 3.7.2 (diagrams 7 & 8)

Need to add

(w/ Optional Refresh Token)

to be consistent with other diagrams and that refresh is optional in all calls

3.7.2.1

format parameter. Not sure why this undefined parameter is ok, but scope is 
not! :)
The example needs a little fleshing out. :)

4.

While the section introduction describes how it can be used to obtain tokens 
with different security parameters and getting a secret, how and when the 
developer would make different calls is unspecified.

The following statement is not always possible:


   The authorization server MUST invalidate the old access token being

   replaced.



If the access token is self contained, then the authorization server cannot 
invalidate it.





5.1



   The "Authorization" request header field is used by clients to make

   both bearer token and cryptographic token requests.

This statement implies that this is the only way to make requests. Perhaps 
introduce section 5 by clearly stating there are different mechanisms for 
transporting the access token?



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