On Thu, Apr 17, 2014 at 10:38 AM, Rufus Pollock <[email protected]>wrote:
> A world where knowledge creates power for the many, not the few. > A world where data frees us — to make informed choices about how we live, > what we buy and who gets our vote. > A world where information and insights are accessible — and apparent — to > everyone. > This is the world we choose. > I like the first line. The second I think the idea of data freeing us is odd, it personifies data in a way that is too abstract. "This data freed me?" I think better is "serve" as in "data *serves* the public by enabling informed choices…" The third line the "— and apparent —" bit is pedantic and unnecessary. Remove it and it loses nothing and is less wordy. -- Aaron Wolf wolftune.com
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