Early in Louis Malle's "Damage," such a moment takes place between Dr. Stephen Fleming, a British government official, and Anna Barton, a young woman he has met at a reception. But it is wrong to describe it as a moment. They speak briefly, their eyes meet, and then each holds the other's gaze for one interminable second after another, until so much time has passed that we, in the audience, realize we are holding our breath.
There might have been a moment when they could have broken the spell, but both chose not to, continuing the moment far beyond the bounds of propriety or reason - particularly since Anna (Juliette Binoche) has just told Stephen (Jeremy Irons) that she is his son's fiancee. This moment is followed by another that is remarkable for being so abrupt. Stephen sits at his desk. The telephone rings. A voice: "It's Anna." He replies: "Tell me where you are and I'll be there within an hour." And so begins their love affair, passionate and obsessive, reckless and heedless of harm to others. It is not that they want to hurt anyone, and it is not even that they want a sexual dalliance. This is something different. Indeed, they both love Martyn (Rupert Graves), Stephen's son, and plans for the marriage of Martyn and Anna continue uninterrupted. "Damage" is not about romance but about obsession, about erotomania on the part of the older man, and about complex and hidden feelings on the part of the young woman. She is attracted to Stephen, yes, but there is more than that. When she was young she suffered a traumatic loss, and she describes herself as "damaged" She would not hurt him, not by an overt act, but her presence will eventually lead to harm. Watching this movie is like watching an emotional traffic accident as it unfolds. The film is based on the best seller by Josephine Hart, which had a certain undeniable power, but the right place for this material is the screen, I think, because it can show exactly how the two look at one another. This is a movie about sight; from the first moment the two meet, it is filled with what is seen and what is not seen, as Stephen suffers though a dinner party with his wife, his son, Anna and her mother - and some observe, and some do not, what has happened. Jeremy Irons, gaunt and aesthetic, brings no fleshy pleasure to the role. Love makes him look like a condemned man, and he feels guilty about sleeping with his son's fiancee, but he must, he cannot help himself, and so he does. The heart knows what it must have. Juliette Binoche also embodies qualities that are essential to the film. She is attractive, but not in a conventional movie way; her face is solemn and serious, and she is capable of showing nothing and yet suggesting multitudes. Godard chose her for the title role of his "Hail Mary," Andre Techine cast her as a sexual tigress in "Rendezvous," and in Phillip Kaufman's "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," she was the young woman who the doctor saw for a moment in a train station, and who come to stay with him, and who he could not deny. It is clear that all three directors saw her as somehow outside the norm, as an actress who could portray sexuality without descending to its usual displays. His screenplay is by the playwright David Hare, who does an excellent job of surrounding these people with convincing characters whose very ordinariness underlines the madness of their actions. Miranda Richardson plays Jeremy Irons' wife, and is magnificently angry in the powerful closing scenes. Leslie Caron is Anna's mother, who knows her daughter well, and sees what is happening. And Rupert Graves is warm and likable as the son. "Damage," like "Last Tango in Paris" and "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," is one of those rare movies that is about sexuality, not sex; about the tension between people, not "relationships"; about how physical love is meaningless without a psychic engine behind it. Stephen and Anna are wrong to do what they do in "Damage," but they cannot help themselves. We know they are careening toward disaster. We cannot look away. I almost always absorb damage as basic wear and tear (especially when guests notify me of the damage). I have filed 2 damage claims in over 100 guests hosted, but both times guests who noted what a 'lovely stay' they had at check out, ended up leaving poor reviews once I requested reimbursement for damage. I frankly don't care about the written portion of a review, that can be responded to, but the low star ratings take ages to recover from. Think I've had 73 reviews- 71 are 5 star, 2 with less (a 2 and 3). The 2 lower star reviews were for the stays with damage claims. So, my thinking is 'file a claim, get a bad review'. Recently, I found myself calculating how badly a low star review would affect my ratings before I filed a claim-the guest was so aggravating (indignant at a request to return antique glass items she had taken from the house (her toddler had "enjoyed" playing with them and wanted to keep them)-literally got a message that I shouldn't have things in the house I minded being taken -(????)- and figured I'd take the hit (had to replace a urine soaked mattress -I double wrap with thick pad and waterproof protector, but it was still soaked through). Guest insisted her 3 year old would never wet a bed, it must have been like that before they checked in. The why of the claim isn't the issue, it is the struggle around the fairness of getting reimbursed for damage weighed against the ratings hit. Any chance Airbnb has considered removing star ratings when there are damage claims? Seems like if you have to go to the trouble of making the claim (instead of a guest offering to pay for damage up front), the star rating inevitably reflects the guest's irritation at being asked to pay for damage rather than an honest reflection of the stay. Airbnb makes so much ado around the Host Guarantee, but the review system seems to intimidate hosts from making claims. I get needing to be realistic and accept minor breaks and spills as a part of business expenses, and not filing frivolous claims, but... when guests cause damage outside of norm, it feels unfair a host risks a ratings loss if they file a claim. Anyway, RE your original question, I've not tried this myself, but a lot of hosts say to wait before putting in a damage claim or even mentioning it to the guest. It used to be that you only had 24 hours or until the next guest check in (whichever was sooner) to report damage. However, now you have 14 days to put in the claim, so you photograph/video and document everything, get quotes and invoices or gather receipts, whatever is appropriate, and wait to see if the guest leaves a review. Then, you put in the claim. If the guest hasn't left a review, you wait until close to the 14 day deadline so that they hopefully don't get a chance to leave a retaliatory review. Of course, I agree that it would just be much better if Airbnb had a system in place to prevent or remove retaliatory reviews, but this is something we've been asking for for ages. The response was to increase the period in which the host could submit a claim, which is better than nothing I guess. @Pamela853 No, it's by design that hosts are discouraged from making damage claims by fear of low ratings. Your risk/reward calculation has to factor in the inevitability of a bad review. No way around it. Thanks Andrew- sort of figured the intent was to discourage hosts from making claims. It honestly helps thinking about it in this manner, though. Can just stop fretting, and run that risk/reward calculation when needed. Very much appreciate your input, thank you! Whatever you decide to do RE the damage claim, make sure to leave this guest a 1* review. The 3-year-old might have caused the damage, but she's the one that's behaving like a brat. Stealing = 1* for house rules. Urine soaked mattress = 1* for cleanliness. Dishonesty and extremely entitled attitude = 1* for communication. Ha you nailed this one- just a shockingly entitled guest (her bio is a hoot, a monologue of personal adoration- she rewrote it I think in an effort to off-set the review I left (as had I read that at the start would have seen the entitlement from a mile away and declined the reservation). I wimped out and didn't rate her that low (as in other respects she followed rules, made obvious efforts not to cause damage) and I thought the 'theft' and bed-wetting were accidental, she just got really defensive after the fact. Written review was not kind though, and fair waring to other hosts. But it seems all guests tend to have 5 stars regardless of what is written in the reviews, so not sure if those are really calculated? And in re-reading her reviews, I realized she had only one of the ten posted, all the others were for her husband, so Airbnb merges profiles to boost review count. RE the ratings, well it depends. The system is much more generous towards guests than hosts in this respect as A.) even a 1 or 2* rating is not going to make much of a dent if the guest already has a bunch of 5* ones. B.) it's rounded up to the nearest half point, e.g a 4.7 is going to show as 5.0. However, if a guest doesn't have any or many previous reviews, a low rating is going to show up. The problem is, it's not difficult for a guest then to delete that profile and start a new one every time they get a bad review, which is another explanation why some bad guests have 4.5 or 5.0* I don't think Airbnb merges reviews to boost review count. If the person is a named guest on the booking, i.e. the guest who makes the booking links the additional person's profile, then the review will show on both profiles, but it will state that the person was part of a group booking. I think this is a good thing because, if they behave badly, it will show on both profiles. Otherwise, the other spouse could request to book and you'd never know there had been a problem... Also, it gives the host the opportunity to see the profile of both guests prior to the stay. It seems to me that possibly your guest had not had any previous issues at airbnbs. You are the only review she has since 2019. Her kids are a different age now and were maybe infants or not even born when the other reviews were written. So, it's quite possible that all of her previous stays went smoothly and the hosts did not get to experience her bad attitude, which you only encountered when you brought up the missing items/mattress. -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "opencog" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/opencog/5db924c4-8f9d-4b8a-81f4-a75de9e8aab9n%40googlegroups.com.
