Dear Med, Thanks a lot for addressing all my points.
I updated and submitted my shepherd review: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix/shepherdwriteup/ I agree with your assessment on Joe's comment that having a figure on udp options packet header and short description on SAFE and UNSAFE options helps the reader to understand the context. It is clear that they are not defined within this document. I will track the discussion on unsigned256 vs bitfield and update the shepherd review accordingly. Best wishes Thomas From: mohamed.boucad...@orange.com <mohamed.boucad...@orange.com> Sent: Monday, January 15, 2024 11:32 AM To: Graf Thomas, INI-NET-VNC-HCS <thomas.g...@swisscom.com>; draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix.auth...@ietf.org; draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix.cha...@ietf.org Subject: RE: draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix-03 shepherd review Be aware: This is an external email. Hi Thomas, all, Let's me first wish you a Happy New Year ! Thank you for the careful shepherd review. A new version that addresses the review is now online: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix/05/. Please note that I didn't change to unsigned64 because in theory we need to cover up to 256 bits to map the full options range. Cheers, Med De : thomas.g...@swisscom.com<mailto:thomas.g...@swisscom.com> <thomas.g...@swisscom.com<mailto:thomas.g...@swisscom.com>> Envoyé : samedi 13 janvier 2024 12:17 À : draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix.auth...@ietf.org<mailto:draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix.auth...@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix.cha...@ietf.org<mailto:draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix.cha...@ietf.org> Objet : draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix-03 shepherd review Dear Joe, Tianran and Henk, Thanks a lot for entrusting me. I have done the first shepherd review of the 3 IPFIX drafts. Since this is my first Shepherd review, please have a brief look before submitting to the data tracker. One clarification question. There is a OPS area review pending, the review from the Internet and Transport area needs to be addressed by the authors, I suggest to have a review from the IPFIX experts as well as described in point 6 and I have some minor editorial remarks (see below). Once all done I believe we are ready to move forward to the IESG with this document. Should I wait with the Shepherd submission or submit it now and update it later as we progress? Dear Med and Tirumaleswar, Thanks a lot. The document is very well written and straight forward. I have reviewed the document. I agree with the feedback from the Transport area that the data type of udpOptions should be unsigned64 instead of unsigned since https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc7011#section-6.2 describes that unsigned64 can be reduced-size encoded in unsigned32. I suggest to change the wording in https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix-03#section-4.1 from "The encoding specified in" to "The reduced-size encoding specified in" to make the meaning of the reference more clear. Regarding the abstract data type and the data type semantics of udpExpOptionExID and udpUnsafeExpOptionExID. I am unsure wherever octetArray with identifier fits or not. I tend to agree with your assessment. I reviewed https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc7012#section-3.1.13 https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc7012#section-3.2.4 https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc7012#section-3.2.5 and also checked https://www.iana.org/assignments/ipfix/ipfix.xhtml where I only found IE464 internalAddressRealm IE465 externalAddressRealm I understand that flags won't fit according to https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/rfc7012#section-3.2.5 due to "represents a set of bit fields" versus a single value we have here. Below are some nits I found. replace "experiements" with "experiments" replace "Expermients" with "Experiments" replace "less-signficant" with "less-significant" Adjust the following references to draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-28 From https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-23#section-10 To https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-28#section-12 From https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-23#section-23 To https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-28#section-25 From https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-23#section-8 To https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-28#section-10 And below the output from idnits. Otherwise all perfect. I agree due to the draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options dependency the content of this document should not be part of draft-ietf-opsawg-ipfix-tcpo-v6eh. I will review draft-ietf-opsawg-ipfix-tcpo-v6eh next. I like that this document, draft-ietf-opsawg-ipfix-tcpo-v6eh and draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options is being submitted about the same time to IESG. From a network operator perspective, I can't ask more to have a new transport protocol RFC ready at the same time when the IPFIX entities are being defined. Well done. Best wishes Thomas idnits 2.17.1 draft-ietf-opsawg-tsvwg-udp-ipfix-03.txt: Checking boilerplate required by RFC 5378 and the IETF Trust (see https://trustee.ietf.org/license-info): ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- No issues found here. Checking nits according to https://www.ietf.org/id-info/1id-guidelines.txt: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- == There are 6 instances of lines with non-ascii characters in the document. Checking nits according to https://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist : ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- No issues found here. Miscellaneous warnings: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- == The copyright year in the IETF Trust and authors Copyright Line does not match the current year == The document doesn't use any RFC 2119 keywords, yet seems to have RFC 2119 boilerplate text. -- The document date (17 October 2023) is 88 days in the past. Is this intentional? Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (See RFCs 3967 and 4897 for information about using normative references to lower-maturity documents in RFCs) == Outdated reference: A later version (-28) exists of draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-23 == Outdated reference: A later version (-11) exists of draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-dplpmtud-10 Summary: 0 errors (**), 0 flaws (~~), 5 warnings (==), 1 comment (--). 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