I had to go full on gmail/html to actually see what your comments were. Readers in the archive might be lost, and I hope my reply highlights all of your comments.
Rob Wilton (rwilton) <[email protected]> wrote: >> Perhaps change: This is contrasted with ... => This contrasts this >> with an alternative situation where the vehicle is parked at, for >> instance, a remote cabin, where an upgrade failure could cause a much >> greater inconvenience. mcr> Changed to: mcr> } A vehicle owner may desire only to perform software upgrades when mcr> they are } at their residence. Should there be a problem, they could mcr> make alternate } arrangements for transportation. } This contrasts mcr> with an alternative situation where the vehicle is parked } at, for mcr> instance, a remote cabin, where an upgrade failure could cause a much mcr> } greater inconvenience. mcr> It's sad that this is no longer a hypothetical situation :-( RW> Thanks. I’ve noticed that I proposed text uses where … where. I RW> hence, I suggest changing the second one to “and where”. Added "and where an upgrade failure..." >> (14) p 5, sec 4.1. Leveraging the manufacturer signature The trust >> and acceptance of the first signer may come from many sources, for >> example, it could be manual configured to trust which signer, or using >> the IDevID mechanism for the first MUD URL and the signer of the >> corresponding MUD file is more trustworthy, or the MUD controller can >> use a Trust on First Use (TOFU) mechanism and trusts the first signer >> by default. >> "... manual configured to trust which signer" doesn't scan well. >> Perhaps something like "... manually configured to trust particular >> signers, or, as a more trustworthy approach, use the IDevID mechanism >> for the first MUD URL and as the signed of the corresponding MUD file, >> "? mcr> I've rewritten it slightly. I think that the signer can only be TOFU mcr> if the URL came from a trusted source, such as IDevID. But, a URL mcr> that came from an untrusted source could be acceptable if the signer mcr> is from a configured trust anchor. mcr> https://github.com/IETF-OPSAWG-WG/draft-ietf-opsawg-mud-acceptable-urls/commit/7841c7c RW> Okay, but please tweak “The first signature be Trust” to “The first RW> signature could be Trust” in the last changed sentence. now reads: } The trust and acceptance of the first signer may come from many sources. } The first signature could be from a manually configured trust anchor in the MUD controller. } The first signature could be Trust on First Use (TOFU), with the URL coming } from a trusted IDevID certificate. >> Grammar warnings from tooling: >> Grammar Warnings: Section: 3.1, draft text: It is probably undesirable >> to perform any upgrade to an airplane outside of its service facility. >> Warning: This phrase is redundant. Consider using outside. Suggested >> change: "outside" mcr> I don't get this suggestion. RW> The suggestion is to use “outside the RW> service facility” rather than “outside of …” Thanks, Rob Now reads: } It is probably undesirable to perform any upgrade to an airplane outside the service facility. As the changes are really minor I will post a new version when I receive those DISCUSS comments. -- Michael Richardson <[email protected]> . o O ( IPv6 IøT consulting ) Sandelman Software Works Inc, Ottawa and Worldwide
signature.asc
Description: PGP signature
_______________________________________________ OPSAWG mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg
