The Incredible Reza Aslan Automated Insult Generator

Posted By Robert Spencer On November 16, 2010 


Invite all to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and
argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious. - Qur'an 16:125

Recently I've written about Reza Aslan several times, as he is a
quintessential example of a deceptive Islamic supremacist who is widely
taken as a "moderate," and is thus a good illustration of how people can be
taken in by such snake-oil peddlers. The pint-sized literary poseur
<http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/11/islamic-supremacist-reza-aslan-veers-from
-promoting-literary-work-to-bashing-freedom-fighters.html>  [1] Aslan is
trying very hard to appear as a reasonable, fashionably liberal voice of
Islam, but the deceptiveness of this is shown by the fact that he is a Board
member of the National Iranian American Council, a group that genuine
Iranian pro-democracy forces regard as an apologetic vehicle for the Islamic
Republic of Iran
<http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/10/pro-democracy-movement-of-iran-protests-s
tate-departments-sending-lobbyist-for-islamic-republic-on-t.html>  [2]. He
has also called on the U.S. Government to negotiate not only with
Ahmadinejad
<http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-09-28/ahmadinejad-under
-fire-in-iran/>  [3] but with Hamas
<http://www.huffingtonpost.com/reza-aslan/the-middle-east-peace-pro_b_776113
.html>  [4] - that is, with some of the most barbaric and
genocidally-inclined adherents of Sharia.

Anyway, because despite all the evidence of his dishonesty, including his
lies about the organization SIOA
<http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/10/questions-for-reza-aslan.html>  [5], an
organization I co-founded with Pamela Geller, on national television, I
still always hold out hope for some honest discussion with anyone whose
writings I analyze and criticize. So over the last few weeks I sent, without
comment, links to each of the Reza Aslan posts that I wrote at Jihad Watch
to Aslan himself.

These are the responses I received:

1. You don't actually think I read the drivel you send me do you? You're a
clown and the only proper response to clowns is laughter. Unless of course
your obsession with me is motivated by something else. In that case, I must
tell you that I'm flattered but you're really not my type.2. I don't know
how else to tell that I'm just not attracted to you. You and I are never
going to get together Robert. You should stick to men your own age and
weight.

3. I told you. I'm into women not walruses.

4. Ok. Fine. I'll think about it. But first you have to shave and lose some
weight.

5. If I send you a picture will that satisfy your lust for a while?

I wrote here
<http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/11/islamic-supremacist-reza-aslan-spreads-de
ceptions-about-sharia.html>  [6] that I planned to publish these emails,
since they showed Aslan's utter intellectual bankruptcy, gutter mentality,
and inability to engage in rational discussion, and I repeated that Sunday
<http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/11/islamic-supremacist-reza-aslan-veers-from
-promoting-literary-work-to-bashing-freedom-fighters.html>  [1]. At that
point Aslan noticed, and I received this from the same email address as the
ones above, [email protected], with the sender labeled as "Reza Aslan":

Dear Mr. Spencer. This is Mr. Aslan's assistant. You seem to be under the
impression that Mr. Aslan is actually opening, reading, and responding to
your emails. I assure you he is not. The email responses you are receiving
are automated responses set to respond to your emails indefinitely. You
can't actually think he is interested in reading anything you have to say.
Mr. Aslan is a world renowned, best selling scholar. There is nothing about
you or your "work" that would interest him in the slightest. Still, we hope
that you will keep up your writings about him. Not only does everything you
say validate Mr. Aslan's importance. But you are a source of immense
amusement for our team. Thank you.Roshi

This came, once again, from the sender "Reza Aslan." Come on, Reza, spring
for separate email accounts for your team! How expensive can it be? Ask the
Saudis for the dough if you're hard-up. There really is a Roshi who works
for Aslan, and she deserves her own email account, don't you think? Here she
is: 

  _____  

  _____  

Those emails from Aslan were automated responses, said Roshi! A better world
through discourse and communication indeed! Behold, the Golden Age of
Islamic invention has returned! Reza Aslan and his trusty sidekick Roshi
have invented the automated insult generator! Send Reza an email and he will
send you one back accusing you of being gay or fat or both! (Do his editors
at the Daily Beast know that he traffics in such homophobic insults?) And no
one is even writing it! It's automated abuse! How imaginative! How
innovative! How Islamic! The people who brought you suicide bomb vests now
bring you.automated gay/weight slurs!

Try it yourself - [email protected]! I hope your luck will be better than
mine, for unfortunately, although Roshi/Reza promised that the above five
emails were examples were "automated responses set to respond to your emails
indefinitely," I sent Reza two test emails today, and received.nothing. How
terribly disappointing, to be deprived of the fruits of this great Islamic
invention so quickly after being introduced to it.

Nonetheless, I have the ones above to console me. And given Reza's literary
fame as editor/compiler of the new literary anthology Tablet and Pen, I am
proud to be able to offer a Jihad Watch exclusive: an original poem by Reza
Aslan himself! I am honored to offer this, without any claim of royalty, for
inclusion in the sure-to-be-forthcoming Tablet and Pen II:

You don't actually think
A poem by Reza Aslan

You don't actually think
I read the drivel you send me
do you?
You're a clown
and the only proper response to
clowns is
laughter.
Unless of course your
obsession with me
is motivated by something
else.
In that case,
I must tell you that I'm
flattered
but
you're really not my
type.

I don't know how else to tell
that I'm just not
attracted to you.
You and I are
never
going to get together
Robert. You should
stick to men
your own age and weight.

I told you.
I'm
into
women not
walruses.

Ok.
Fine.
I'll think about it. But
first
you have to
shave and lose
some weight.

If I send
you
a picture
will that satisfy your
lust
for
a while?

  _____  

  _____  

  _____  

Article printed from FrontPage Magazine: http://frontpagemag.com

URL to article:
http://frontpagemag.com/2010/11/16/the-incredible-reza-aslan-automated-insul
t-generator-2/

URLs in this post: 

[1] literary poseur:
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/11/islamic-supremacist-reza-aslan-veers-from-
promoting-literary-work-to-bashing-freedom-fighters.html

[2] regard as an apologetic vehicle for the Islamic Republic of Iran:
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/10/pro-democracy-movement-of-iran-protests-st
ate-departments-sending-lobbyist-for-islamic-republic-on-t.html

[3] Ahmadinejad:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-09-28/ahmadinejad-under-
fire-in-iran/

[4] Hamas:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/reza-aslan/the-middle-east-peace-pro_b_776113.
html

[5] his lies about the organization SIOA:
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/10/questions-for-reza-aslan.html

[6] here:
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/11/islamic-supremacist-reza-aslan-spreads-dec
eptions-about-sharia.html

Click here
<http://frontpagemag.com/2010/11/16/the-incredible-reza-aslan-automated-insu
lt-generator-2/print/#Print>  to print.

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