http://freemendo.typepad.com/undaunted/2010/06/something-about-flight-attend
ants.html

 


03 June 2010


All proceeds go to charity


 <http://freemendo.typepad.com/.a/6a00e398246ac988330133ec3db7e1970b-pi>
Stews

Alrightythen, that's enough. 

Get busy reading, knuckleheads.

Are you with me? Okay, let's get back on task. 

Some weeks back I was reading here
<http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-travel-briefcase6-2010mar06,0,6470983
.story>  that flight attendants want "combat training" in order to better
defend themselves and their passengers against attacks on an airplane. These
RyanAir cupcakes don't look very motivated, to me. 

Speaking to flight crews now; the truth is that you're at greater risk of
assault in the Safeway parking lot or condo stairwell than in a plane. And
so are the rest of us.  Please, don't get me wrong. I appreciate all you
brave men and women who climb into airplanes every day knowing that that
very day on that very flight there might be as many as 15-20 terrorists who
will try to take over the plane, not with the purpose of flying to Cuba and
negotiating for the release of some of the brothers at Gitmo, but with the
zealous intent to kill everyone on board and as many on the ground as they
can who are unlucky enough to be under their brand new shiny exploding
plane. 

I get it. You want to live. So what's the price you're willing to pay for
it? Is it worth 6 months of tanning salon/spa treatments? Is it worth not
spending money to go to Vegas or Cabo or Fiji or Tuscany? It should be.  Is
it a better investment of time and money for you to hit the most lush golf
course around every time you get  a day or two off? Or, to wander shopping
malls and flea markets? Haven't you tasted enough wine? Don't you have
enough shoes? 

If you want to survive the battles that will surely come on aircraft, you
need to take matters into your own hands. Literally. Now.  You need to stop
begging or demanding training be paid for by corporate weenies and seek it
out and pay for it yourselves. If corporate were to pay for training, which
they will not, the training will not be combat speed, as we used to say back
in the day. It will be minimal, vague, with lots of warnings given as to
what will happen to you if you use it.  

 For you FA types and anyone else who wants to survive the next aircraft
take-over coming down the pike, then look at the basics I've written about
<http://freemendo.typepad.com/undaunted/2008/03/well-then-mak-1.html> here,
<http://freemendo.typepad.com/undaunted/2008/03/answering-the-b.html> here,
and  <http://freemendo.typepad.com/undaunted/2008/04/an-old-hippie-w.html>
here.

I was there at all the all-day meetings when the representatives of the FAA,
the major airlines, Boeing, Airbus, the APA and AFA got together at the
order of President Bush.

 <http://freemendo.typepad.com/.a/6a00e398246ac988330134828a4da5970c-pi>
George-bush20frowning

An imperfect but good, honorable man, respected and loved by all true
American warriors.

They were all there to find ways to secure cockpit doors to prevent more
aircraft from being commandeered and crashed. And there was real fear in
that room. Suggestions were made at that time that flight attendants be
trained in various self- and cabin-defense tactics and a certain company was
preparing to make an offer to provide this training.  For a number of
reasons, into which I won't go here, that offer was never made.  But,
whatever those reasons are, the truth is each one ~ flight crew and
passenger ~ is responsible for his or her own level of preparedness and
willingness to act.

I know a bartender who had a baby not long ago who goes to Krav Maga class.
The bartender, not the baby. She pays for the training with her own money,
minimum wage plus tips for which she works hard and diligently... and she's
a scintillating conversationalist.  She's sore every now and then when I see
her at work but I admire her for her spunk, for taking responsibility for
her own protection and that of her baby.

So what's your excuse?

You have none.

First things first: you need to get tough ~ not in shape  ~ tough. If your
goal is to get in shape, you'll quit when you get sweat in your eyes or when
your favorite show is on the tube.  Your workout needs to break you into a
sweat, leaving you exhausted as you lean on the shower wall when you're
done.  None of this sissy shit; sashaying into the gym, water bottle in
hand, freshly washed and wearing height-of-fashion workout clothes with your
freakin' cell phone in your pocket so you don't miss any calls. If you won't
dedicate yourself to at least 45 minutes of gut-wrenching toil, then you ~
flight attendant or not ~ deserve to get your ass beat. Why? Because you
don't deserve to be trained or protected, you only deserve that for which
you're willing to pay.  And since you won't pay the price, you'll get
exactly what you deserve.

So, let's get you geared up.

 



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