John, the poem was beautiful. Thank you. Prasad, Barry, Peg, Audrey, thanks for your kind words. Jody, keep journeying and bring the red. Muriel, the crickets aren't chirping. There are now two lizards and the crickets are in even more difficulty than they were before. My son Aaron tells me that they are a special kind of cricket that doesn't chirp --that they know they are meant to be eaten!! I wonder?
Anyhow, I have been doing a lot of ruminating about OS in dark places. Here are my thoughts. If anything stimulates conversation, I would be glad. I see OS in three different circumstances of life: 1. OS within the self 2. OS within a one with one relationship 3. OS within the organization (some would say the one with one relationship is an organization) (for that matter, there is also an organization within self) (however, the distinctions of these three may be helpful) To understand what happens in dark places in OS I have to look at what I know best which is me. Do I find dark places? Oh yes. Some years ago when I was consciously aware of oening space for me "to find me and for me to be me", the first thing that happened was a huge influx of my dark: fear, anger, denial, guilt...And these dark forces squeezed at the Open Space I was holding for myself until sometimes the space became very tiny but I was always able to hold it open (I think a little divine intervention was working). And in holding it open, amazing things started to happen. The space kept growing and growing, every once in a while getting smaller, but never so small that there wasn't room for me to find me, what I have passion for, and what I am prepared to take responsibility for. Sometimes I was able to move forward from this with action and in many ways changed my life and my life dream. Sometimes, the space was such that I didn't know what to do so I had to wait and trust, all the while aware that I was holding space open for myself. Just by holding that space for waiting and trusting, magical things began to happen: I would have clarity without trying, I would be given just the right gifts, just the right people would enter my life, and so on. And amazingly the dark places inside of me stopped pushing at that Open Space. It is like all this goodness and the dark is inside of me in harmony. I know that anger, fear and such is there ----it just doesn't really have much influence because I CHOOSE to pay attention to the good and creative and emergent. I acknowledge the dark side as part of me ---I don't put energy into trying to stomp it out. In one with one relationships that work well, we hold space open not only for ourselves, but also for another. I think of that as really whole, healthy mutual relationship. It is the place for inspiration, challenge, surprize and wonder, and love. And of course, as space is held, the dark side of each person comes in and the cumulative dark side of the two people in interaction comes in. But if both are intentional about paying attention to the holding of the space for inspiration, challenge, surprize and wonder, and love, and just generally holding space to be themselves and to find themselves as individuals and as two persons together, the dark forces subside in their impact. Again, the dark forces do not go away. Fear, anger, jealousy, guilt, and so on. If attention by the persons in relationship is on the open space for the good, creative, and emergent, the dark side does not draw the energy. Both people must be awake and aware enough to collaborate with this. With those items that surface that are clear for action, there is no problem. But as in the case of the individual, there will be issues/opportunities that are definitely in the category of wait and trust, because neither knows what to do. And all the while the dark forces are clamouring against the open space being held for wait and trust. If the space can be held by both persons, it is my experience that again, magic happens. Clarity comes without trying, the right persons enter, the right gifts are given and so on. But as you can imagine, when two are involved, holding the space open for each other with all those dark forces challenging that space is much harder. The only way through this in my experience with my dearest friends, is to name that we are holding the space (in fact to ritualize it) and to name and welcome and have humour about the dark forces. By being recognized and not fought against, the dark forces have no power to harm all of the good happening in the open space. Sometimes one of those dark forces comes up as an issue or opportunity in the open space, but that is okay and welcome. In this way, they don't control. So now on to the collective. If I apply the wisdom from self and from relationship with one other, the same should apply. As soon as the space is open, the dark forces will clamour at the space. The way to get through this then would be to name the holding of space (ritualize it, which we do) and then to name and welcome and have humour about the dark forces. By recognizing them collectively and not fighting against them, they will not have the same power to harm all the good happening in the open space. And they could come up as an issue/opportunity, but that is good. In this way, they don't control by being the unspoken force. And then I would suggest one more thing. For those items that come from the Open Space and are clear for action, the dark forces will have limited influence. Where the danger lies is for all those items that are still lacking clarity. So...I suggest that when we close an Open Space and know that there will be items that are cloudy (that in the individual would be in the wait and trust category) that we somehow ritualize the Opening of Space for them to be dealt with in the future. Name that the space is held open for them ongoing in the organization, with intent. Name and welcome and have humour about the dark forces that will clamour at the space while the group is looking for clarity or even doing another Open Space. Humour such as the Dead Moose Society or the idea of waking the elephant/dancing with the elephant may help here. At least, to date that has been my experience. Anyhow, those are my current thoughts about Opening Space in dark places. Use what I know about myself which is to stop struggling and pat the darkness on the head. I wish I had remembered all this wisdom last week, when I let the dark get the better of me. Some of my thinking about this was influenced by Angeles Arrien who teaches the four-fold way. She speaks about relationship work as being the most rigorous form of spiritual practice. "relationship will help me to claim the good, beautiful, and true in my nature". "I also discover the beast and monsters in my nature. The beast and monsters are to be tamed and reigned and tickled, not killed. I need to be able to hold their furry little paws. The beast and monsters rule us until claimed." Angie breaks relationships into three categories, based on the wisdom of indigenous peoples: 1. relationship with self (morning star work) 2. relationship with one other (rainbow hoop work) 3. relationship with a group/collective (medicine wheel work, gratitude hoop work <Africa>, bamboo reed work <Orient>) Angie is clear that the healthy order to do this work in is to have good relationship with self first, then to engage in a real relationship that is mutual and special with one other, and then to be able to be in good relationship with a collective/group.Not so. Many of us look at the first and decide it is too hard and bypass it.We then look at the second and definitely decide it is too hard and bypass it too. And then we get involved with the collective.(I'll speak for myself here too). It is safer, less intimate. Only problem is we have brought all of our unclaimed darkness into the collective to brew there --and when enough people have done that, no wonder some places feel so dark. To complicate this, as OS facilitators, we also may have skipped the first and second. Which means we also may be adding our own unclaimed darkness to that of the group when we work with it (I'll speak for myself here of course). It seems to me that what we need to do is to be really clear about our own relationship with self, to learn how to hold space with one other, to claim and have humour about the dark in these two arenas, and then we are much better equipped to deal with the dark of the collective. And who knows, by our own being fully present, telling the truth, following what has heart and meaning, and letting go----we just might be role modelling some really good stuff for the organization. And that includes dancing with the elephant, recognizing and having humour about the darkness and thus disempowering it. Or we might still just be like the crickets and get eaten. I don't know. But at least it is worth a good try.At least, that is the way I choose to do this life. Maybe this is included in expanding our now. Birgitt
