Well Matthias had done a wonderful story about centredness and connectedness to do with a large open space he did recently and there were responses about that great state of centredness and connectedness that most of us experience ---ooo, ahhhh.
So, I thought I'd do a quick story about my reality a day before a very challenging short open space.Sweaty palms, heart accelerating, stomach churning. Wondering how I always manage to get myself into such "pickles". Yes, its true, I accepted the contract, and I knew that many of the ideal ingredients for Open Space were not there. And so here I am in my dilemma. Will I be centred and connected by tomorrow ---I sure hope so----but it seems far from my present reality. Any of you who might be inclined to send strengthening energy to me, please do so. Time of start is 8am EST. Now, I confess that I am not fond of our Provincial Government. That is an understatement. We have been badly hit with cuts in services, jobs, values at their hands. There is a lot of angry backlash now (thank goodness that people are moving out of victim behaviour and seizing a bit of power again). So, we are in a period of strikes and picketting and citizens marching to their Member of Parliament offices in defiance of a serious piece of legislation that the government is pushing through legislature this week. They are a majority government which means they can do this but it is a clear indication that our democracy isn't a democracy when the voice of the people isn't listened to. So, how did I end up in a position of doing a one day (actually only six hour) Open Space for one of the branches (Ministries) of that government? Off I head today, through picket lines and such, to look at the room I'll be opening space in tomorrow for about 120 invited citizens to launch a good news, good neighbours program. The folks who have hired me know they are taking a big risk. The meeting is truly to explore issues and opportunities of the program. The challenge is to ensure that the whole thing doesn't turn into an angry "government bashing" scene that is out of control. So, I have been told.How does one get such anger to be an issue posted on the agenda wall? I will surely find out tomorrow. Okay, so here is my conscience again --I am actually helping this government look good through the use of Open Space. Me, the former social advocate with ancestors strongly committed to social justice surely turning over in their graves. Or is this really about going in and using Open Space for all that it has to give. Maybe, just maybe, the event will go well and the issues will get up there and real discussion will happen, and the government just might be impressed enough by this little trial balloon they are doing through me, to actually host more Open Space meetings and actually create the settings for the voice of the people to be heard again ---if it can be heard in a non-threatening way. Maybe, just maybe, Open Space will help to bring a better way to this whole mess. Anyhow, one Open Space at a time. For me, I know I am afraid today, and I am wrestling with my conscience today, but tomorrow I will surrender and let it all happen. Whatever happens is the only thing.... Birgitt P.S. What keeps coming to mind whenever I try to meditate is the feeding of live crickets to my son's lizard. I don't know why this is the scene evoked when I think of tomorrow :-)
