I think your preface covers a lot of good ground, Harrison. I thought this was classic: "I am a storyteller. To be truthful..." You tell both sides like nobody I've ever known! Not sure everyone will read it as humorously as I did. Maybe it wasn't even intended that way. But I think you could leave out "To be truthful." Just be truthful, without narrating it, without taking that step back to observe, only four words into the piece.
Where Birgitt picks out "Spirit disappears," I think she's on to something. Might make that, "When Spirit eludes me/us..." or "When Spirit escapes..." I guess I like the latter. It fits better with Ending. And it sparks us to some wondering about where it might go "to" in those moments when it seems to disappear. A couple other small word things... "It is true, multiple words..." didn't capture how many words... maybe "While many words are spoken..." or "A multitude of words might be spoken..." And in the opening of the next paragraph, I'd say "This "strange event"..." rather than "The..." I appreciate Birgitt's thought about ending with the "warning" paragraph, and "be careful." It works both ways, but differently. I think it's a stronger ending than what you have, but I do think it works best where you have it. Which leads me to wonder what I might be missing in the last line(s). Ending as you have, you invite people to enjoy and share the story, but I think you could go further. You could invite readers to "Please enjoy, make it your own, and pass it along. We are all storytellers now, [always have been and always will be]. Good luck! And keep your Spirit up! [That's what this book is about.]" Or something like that, something in the spirit of "anyone with a good head and good heart." The funny thing about your story is that it doesn't go on because people share it... it goes on because people step up and share their own story, inside of or extending from, yours. When you're satisfied that it's done, would it be appropriate to post this same story (tweaked for reference to "this book") atop all of your writings at openspaceworld.com? Thanks, Michael -- Michael Herman Michael Herman Associates 312-280-7838 (mobile) MichaelHerman.com OpenSpaceWorld.org On Wed, Mar 16, 2022 at 7:06 PM Birgitt Williams via OSList < oslist@lists.openspacetech.org> wrote: > Dear Harrison, > as always, your writing is inspiring. You asked for feedback and here is > what would make this preface writing work better for me. It is all of > course fine as it is. However, if you were to take the beginning sentences > and put them at the end in exactly the order that you wrote them. This > would leave the ending of the preface with the words 'be careful', a phrase > sure to get the pages turning. Or is it only me that would turn those pages > when admonished to 'be careful' as it would peak my curiosity. Can you > picture a strengthening of your message? the sentences I am referring to > are: > > "I am a story teller. > > > > To be truthful, I was trained as an academician, but I came to a startling > recognition: *Nobody was ever moved by facts, figures, and footnotes. A > good story, however, will move Spirit and minds.* > > > > I should warn you of what you already know: Storytellers have a very light > regard for the truth, as in “The facts of the matter,” and “What actually > happened” However, if the story is a good one, The Truth will pop out, > which is what makes a story good – one that you will remember ... and may > change your life. Be careful." > > > aI don't believe Spirit disappears. it is constant. Our sense of Spirit > disappearing can be strong, especially when there are endings. I love when > you say that endings are also the work of Spirit. I would prefer that the > words about Spirit disappearing are changed. The constant of Spirit, life > force, present always, accessible always, is essential for Open Space > Technology to work. > > > with love and blessings, > > Birgitt > > > > [image: Picture] > > > *Birgitt Williams* > *Senior consultant-author-mentor to leaders and consultants * > *Specialist in organizational and systemic transformation, leadership > development, and the power of nourishing a culture of leadership.* > www.dalarinternational.com > > > >> Learn More & Register > <http://www.dalarinternational.com/upcoming-workshops/> for any of our > upcoming workshops here. > > > PO Box 19373, Raleigh, NC, USA 27613 > Phone: 01-919-522-7750 > Like us on Facebook > <https://dalarinternational.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=35ed818c946a88ba7344da05f&id=6677c35b38&e=e7zyhHfiqG> > > Connect on LinkedIn > <https://dalarinternational.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=35ed818c946a88ba7344da05f&id=c26173f86b&e=e7zyhHfiqG> > > > > On Tue, Mar 15, 2022 at 4:37 PM Harrison Owen SR via OSList < > oslist@lists.openspacetech.org> wrote: > >> >> Audrey Hepburn, a Young Chinese lady (that really is her name!) tells me >> that she is going to publish some of my books in Chinese and, would I write >> a preface? I said I would try, but always following my fundamental dictum >> (Never work harder than you have to) I suggested doing one for all. It is a >> preface and you could stick it anywhere... maybe. Easy said -- but I never >> quite figured how hard it might be to summarize 60 years of thinking into a >> page and a bit. I have no idea if I have succeeded, But you might -- and if >> not let me know, and I"ll try to do better. >> >> Harrison >> -- >> 7808 River Falls Drive >> Potomac, MD 20854 USA >> 301-365-2093 >> _______________________________________________ >> OSList mailing list >> To post send emails to OSList@lists.openspacetech.org >> To unsubscribe send an email to oslist-le...@lists.openspacetech.org >> To subscribe or manage your subscription click below: >> http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org >> Past archives can be viewed here: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/oslist@lists.openspacetech.org > > _______________________________________________ > OSList mailing list > To post send emails to OSList@lists.openspacetech.org > To unsubscribe send an email to oslist-le...@lists.openspacetech.org > To subscribe or manage your subscription click below: > http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org > Past archives can be viewed here: > http://www.mail-archive.com/oslist@lists.openspacetech.org
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