Jon,
Thanks for the marvelous summary of the many aspects of shyness
or other qualities posing as shyness. So much wisdom! I've got
a few small items to add to all that's been said.
I've noticed that the more hierarchical the organization, the
longer it seems to takes before someone steps in to post a
session. Have others noticed that? I suspect to Michael
Herman's point, it has much to do with how real people sense the
invitation is.
As several have already said, the quality of the space -- knowing
who and what is welcome - matters.
I did an Open Space with Buddhist monks years ago. It's the
longest I've ever seen it take before someone stepped in. Once
I'd opened the space, we all sat breathing for several minutes.
At least it seemed like several minutes. Ultimately the youngest
monk in the room posted a session. Once the ice was broken,
there was a rush to the center.
A few years later, with a group of journalists, they entered the
circle one at a time, trickling in ever so slooowly. One "shy"
journalist waited until people had headed to their sessions. He
then went to the wall and added his session, never announcing it.
Since most people go back to check the agenda, his session was
there for all to see.
On a completely different note, sometimes I think shyness is a
result of not quite knowing how to express a notion. If someone
doesn't know how to say what they want, how can they possibly
post a session? I find that's one of the great values of
butterflies. Often those nagging ideas that we can't quite put
into words get worked through in an intimate side conversation.
With a bit more clarity, someone finds their voice and posts a
session later in the day or the following day. That's part of
why I prefer multiple day OS gatherings. So many seeds get
planted on the first day that get a chance to show themselves on
day two.
Thanks for sparking a great exchange, Peggy
_________________________________ Peggy Holman
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15347 SE 49th Place Bellevue, WA 98006 425-746-6274
www.peggyholman.com www.journalismthatmatters.org
Coming in September Engaging Emergence: Turning Upheaval into
Opportunity www.engagingemergence.com
For the second edition of The Change Handbook, go to:
www.bkconnection.com/ChangeHandbook
"An angel told me that the only way to step into the fire and not
get burnt, is to become the fire". -- Drew Dellinger
On Jul 22, 2010, at 10:09 AM, Jon Harvey wrote:
Thank you all for your wisdom and experience. I had a feeling my
inquiry would tap into a rich seam of insights and practice...
But where to begin to respond...! I will take the points in the
order they appear in my email intray:
*Mamading*: we meet again! (Were you there on Tuesday at NESTA
btw – you may not have spotted me hiding behind a couple
croissants with Emmental cheese in them?!) Do tell us more about
these Labs. And, I think implicit, in your comment is an idea
that people and organisations / partnerships / systems /
communities can make more of OS on a second, third, fourth visit
etc. I know that to be true.
*Barry*: the ‘shy’ (and more of that later) people may well hang
back and butterfly, but sometimes butterflies don’t tap into
their own passion and can drift off – actually or mentally or
both. I know, que sera, sera (whatever happens etc.) – but your
comment has prompted me to spend more next time working with the
sponsor. (Yes these reflections do all come from a recent
experience.) The sponsor needs to be as relaxed as I am with the
magic of the process.
*Jack*: things are good thanks – *bleating* (blogging & tweeting
combined – term coined by my wife to refer to my activity in my
study / garret) like mad to get OS & whole system stuff woven
into the fabric of the #bigsociety. I like the idea of a living
agenda wall that can ebb and flow – and indeed try to practice
this. Perhaps this Agenda Wall 2.0....? (sort of! – although it
always has been) But I also hear what Lisa says in her later
mail.
*Harrison*: Not for the first time, I do wish I could have you as
an app on my smart phone so that I could tap ‘you’ and get an
immediate response of ‘this is what Harrison would do / say!’
Thank you for your story – you are so good at those – I will
endeavour to imbibe fully and remember at a suitable later date.
And you are right of course, it *is* about passion. I guess I
remain interested in what there can be in the system (see below)
or zeitgeist present whereby people with passion do *not* come
forward... and as a facilitator what role I have (if any) in
‘tweaking’ the system in advance of the OS process...
*Michael*: you are correct of course – it is rarely about
‘shyness’ or the individuals themselves. Indeed it was my
reflection on the recent series of OS that I did – that, in part,
there was some ‘leaden’ systemic cultures present. And quiet is
not shy – absolutely true! And there has to be a first meeting so
that there can be a second – when people might ‘dare’ a little
more. As always every OS is a success – but (and back to my
earlier point) – just what that success looks like may not be
quite what the sponsor had in mind – which touches on my role as
preparation guide. Their role as ‘inviter’ and ‘open space pilot’
is of course critical.
*Phelim*: I agree, there are some very practical things we can
say – I like your phrases. Again I will seek to imbibe those.
Certainly I always aim to ‘be’ and ‘hold the space’ with a gentle
and almost wispy presence – quietly content with the silence. (My
father had a piece of gristle on one ear which made it look a
little pointed and he would claim he was half pixie. So, as a
quarter pixie, I try to have a wispy presence...! ) For me
making it easy is a stepping back not a stepping forward. And as
for the number of sessions – in one OS of the recent series, a
total of two sessions were proposed... so near perfect success!
It was surprising! The chocolate was good as well.
*Sharon*: You are right – exploring the passion beforehand is
critical. In hindsight, the sponsor was surprised by where the
passion was after the first OS – he (and therefore I as he had
briefed me) expected a different quality of passion to one that
we in fact experienced. On reflection, I now know it would have
been wiser to hear a few more of the ‘ordinary’ voices
beforehand. And working through to what is the ‘right’ issue /
theme / question is really, really important.
*Lisa*: Given all of the above, I value your assertion that there
can be some, a small amount perhaps, shyness amongst some
people. I think I can sometimes overlook how ‘heavy’ a microphone
is for some people. Maybe I am not alone in this – although maybe
I am. Can you post your ‘face’ on youtube?! But I think I can
imagine it from your description. I do have my ‘face’ too.
(Although there is another debate to be had about where we go
after the intro stuff. I usually step outside the circle –
whereas from what you say, I am imagining you sitting in the
circle...???) I need to keep reminding myself that there is solid
presence in silence. Being an extravert – I may not always see
this. And thank you for highlighting the issue of power which
others have touched on too.
So again – thank you all for this online tutorial. I feel
enriched and empowered – and not a little renewed too!
A sprinkling of pixie dust to you all!
Jon
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