Lisa...your comment about "loving people up" reminds me of a line I heard a few months ago when we were working with people from the Canadian Labour Congress. One union organizer from the INternational Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, speaking about dealing with difficult people in difficult meetings uttered this principle: "You don't have to like the members, but you have to love them."
I love that line! Chris ---- Chris Corrigan [email protected] http://www.chriscorrigan.com On 2010-11-29, at 8:23 AM, Lisa Heft wrote: > Hello, wonderful Christine - > > I agree with Ms. Pat - you can always be the one to hold the microphone and > whisper 'just the title', tell the group 'just the headline - they will have > to come to your group to learn the story' - or as I sometimes say - > 'sentence, not paragraph' with a smile. Or you may be of the style to not do > that at all and let what happens happens, as some people do. In that case: my > recommendation is to b-r-e-a-t-h-e (for yourself and for them). > > I have been in a situation where one person picked up the mic in the center > and opened up a multi-page manifesto that he proceeded to read, then he > wanted to take it around the circle (mic still in hand) to have everyone sign > it. That made me a little crazy inside my head but I just breathed and tried > to figure out a place to step in, love him up, invite people to hear more at > his session and segue to the other waiting topic announcer / session hosts. > > I have also been in a situation where a church was using Open Space and other > dialogic processes before that to inform their strategic (pastoral) plan. And > there was one little angry and very very busy group of people who were very > negative (always) and they explored reasons for and against including or > dis-including those particular people in their invitation. They really > understood human systems and Open Space - so we talked about what might > happen, how others in Open Space would simply go elsewhere (nobody would feel > 'trapped' if they used the Law of Two Feet and went to the sessions that > interested them), and how unrealistic it is to imagine that by disincluding a > part of the system it is absent from the system. So the Bishop made a > personal invitation to that group of negative angry people. And as it turns > out they did not choose to attend. Maybe because they would not have focus? > Hard to say. > > And I have also been in situations where just when the Agenda co-creation > process is over and I have given the last information about process and the > day's schedule (the moment when the group is about to shift into its > discussion circles) - or during Closing Circle where everyone is sharing > their discoveries and reflections - where one person says something very > negative or asks for a change in process or something. These are two moments > that can be high anxiety for some people, I understand. In those moments, I > become the 'lightening rod' - everyone is looking at me to see how I will > respond. All I can do is breathe, love that person up as best I can, and > model that conflict is not always a bad thing - sometimes it illustrates > diversity or another way of seeing things or prickliness (like a cactus) that > is real. > > And sometimes I forget to breathe, and respond not so perfectly. Oh dear, I > am human. > > But usually it all works out beautifully - prickly people included... > > They are lucky to have you, > Lisa > > Lisa Heft > Consultant, Facilitator, Educator > Opening Space > [email protected] > > > * * ========================================================== > [email protected] ------------------------------ To subscribe, > unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > [email protected]: > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about > OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist * * ========================================================== [email protected] ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of [email protected]: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist
